


You're the One, Bar None

by holdenjugfieldiii



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Drugs, Evil Snoke, F/M, Fluff, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gangs, Kylo wants to be a good boy just doesn't know how, Moving On, Rey is a mess for most of it, Rey is kind of selfish but she learns, Slow Burn, Smut, bar/pub au, finding yourself, self discovery, they are both messes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:08:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22293106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdenjugfieldiii/pseuds/holdenjugfieldiii
Summary: Rey just got back from a year long backpacking trip around Europe to find her boyfriend, Finn, has fallen for their friend and roommate Rose. Jobless and now boyfriendless and homeless, she wanders into the Dark Side, a dodgy bar with a mysterious and sexy owner. Together, they go on a crazy journey of self discovery, love and forgiveness.Updates every Friday!
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 66
Kudos: 181





	1. Welcome to The Dark Side

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first Star Wars fic ever and my first fic since I graduated college. I was just so taken by Reylo I had to start again!

When Rey returned from her year long backpacking trip around Europe, the last thing she expected was to be sat down by her boyfriend Finn, and their mutual friend and roommate, Rose, to be told that something had sprung between them while she was gone. Then be told they couldn’t wait any longer. Finn assured her over and over that there was nothing physical yet, they waited. They both loved her and could never hurt her, he said, but they needed to pursue this. 

She made a joke about playing musical beds-- _you can take my side of the bed and I’ll take your room, Rose_ \-- she had remarked bitterly. 

They ignored it. She was welcome to stay, but it was clear they didn’t want her to. Not out of selfishness, but out of kindness, really. She wanted to hated them-- and she was mad as hell-- but things between her and Finn had gone stale even before she left for Europe. Maybe that was what drove her to go on a journey of self-discovery in the mountains of another country. Back to her homeland of England and beyond.

The man she had been with since freshman year old college was supposed to be the man she married and had kids with, but it felt more like best buddies than lovers as the years went by. The were all twenty-four at this point and too young to settle. Maybe in time she would be happy for them, but at that point, sitting on the brown tattered couch, before she could even get her backpack all the way off, her boyfriend was replacing her with her best friend.

And that was the reason she found herself still grimy with traveling sweat at the closest bar to her-- their two bedroom city apartment. 

The bar was called The Dark Side, a complete hole in the wall with pool tables with unidentifiable stains, a single dart board with not enough darts for an actual game, and a well stocked bar. The last part was the only important part to Rey.

It used to be called the Death Star, but that mysteriously burned to the ground almost thirty years earlier. The old owner’s grandson bought the empty lot and renamed it to be his own venture. 

He was an odd fellow, the owner. He was incredibly--almost uncomfortably-- tall, with long wavy black locks and a deep, unexplained scar down his cheek. The bar was always too dark, so she never got a good look at him. People around the borough knew to steer clear of him, which meant the bar only had loyal customers and compatriots of the owner there.

So, when she walked in on that Tuesday night, there wasn’t a sound in the place. Someone had even turned the retro jukebox off to just stare and figure out what the hell she was doing there. Typically, she would have trudged to her favorite bar six blocks over, Rebel Scum, but she needed to get out of there fast-- as well as a stiff drink.

Rey decided to ignore the characters, mostly men, she noted. Maybe that was another reason they couldn’t take their eyes off her. A squirmy little red head slid down the bar to where she sat and looked on her rudely.

“What’ll you have?” He quirked his eyebrow, convinced she was lost and would get up to leave at any moment.

“Got any specials?” Rey asked with a determined smirk.

The bartender showed his shock with a furrowed brow and an agape mouth for a moment before recovering quickly. 

“We don’t do specials,” he replied sorely.

Rey sighed, you’d think this place didn’t want her money. “I’ll take a Jack and coke.”

“ID,” he demanded.

Albeit rude, Rey was flattered and handed over her driver’s license. He didn’t seem phased by her disgusting picture like most people were when she handed it over. Finn had made a hysterical joke about the clerk being like Roz from Monster Inc when they went together. He was doing the voice and everything. By the time it was her turn, her face was red and blotchy from laugh induced tears. 

“Opening a tab?” The guy asked, reminding Rey where she was and why she was here. That memory was graying and being replaced with images of Rose and him have tension filled talks, longing eye contact, and maybe even an almost kiss. 

“Please,” she finally answered. He huffed and poured her a little jack with a lot of coke. “Don’t be stingy please.”

“Then you can order another if you want more.”

“Sounds good, my man,” she scraped her credit card along the table. 

He turned his back to tab in numbers and handed it back promptly. He didn’t stick around for idle chat like a normal bartender would, instead he went back to the other side of the bar and cleaned glasses that no one was using. 

Her grand idea of coming to a bar to distract herself was not turning out how she thought it would. She had no strangers to talk to, and this weak ass drink was doing nothing for her. She had half the mind to leave, but that would prove all the staring eyes right and she wanted some sort of triumph for the day.

By her third drink, she was less of a novelty and the regulars went back to their chattering. 

“I ain’t lowering my price,” said a large, bald man who was almost ashy in skin tone. He had scars too. What was about this place and scars?

“I’m a loyal customer, Snoke. Friends and family discount, huh?” the other guy said. 

Were they selling drugs here? Rey’s resolve to stay was fading the more she listened.

“You’re no friend. You’re as shit as to me as is dog shit,” Snoke’s voice was harsh and whispery. 

Rey felt cold chills down her back despite the drink making her warm.

“I’ve known Mr. Ren for years. He’s the owner. I can just talk to him, you know,” this kid was getting bold.

“Kylo’s got the cash, but I’m the one who owns this place. Now beat it if you’re not buying,” Snoke told the guy, clearly he was being kinder than he usually was. 

“Uh, uh, yes sir,” the kid sputtered away and left in a hurry. 

While he opened the door, she saw a glimpse of the outside. It was dark. How long had she been here?

She downed the rest of her drink and was about to close her tab and get the hell out, but a large hand putting another Jack and coke in front of her made her change her mind. Looking up at the stranger, she could tell it was the owner instantly. Kylo Ren was his name, she gathered from the previous conversation. 

This close, she could see the unique features of his face, that scar, full, pouting lips and a long, narrow nose that looked Greecian. He was odd, but the type of odd that drew her in and made Rey’s heart vibrate in her chest.

“This one is on me,” he said flatly.

“Um, thanks,” Rey didn’t know what else to say. “Your bartender’s a bit of a sour puss.”

He chuckled, but it never left his throat like he would never dare let happiness leak out. “That’s Hux. he’s just pissed because I out bid him out of this place. I only made him the bartender because I like to watch him suffer.”

Rey smiled at that, though she hoped he was just joking. Maybe it would be sexy if he wasn’t? She’s never been into guys with a dark side, literally, but she could see the allure. Really, she had only ever been with or into one guy. And that guy wasn’t into her anymore. 

“I’ve never seen you before,” Kylo said, pulling her from her thoughts, thankfully. God, his voice was so low and gravely. Mhm.

Rey shrugged, not sure where to begin. Did he want her life story or just being nosy as to why a non big scary man was drinking at his bar?

“Looking for a change of pace,” she replied.

Kylo nodded slowly like he didn’t believe her but was accepting it anyway. He stared at her for a moment, his eyes searching into the depths of her own. It was too intense and made her look down and take another sip of her drink.

“So, what do you think?” He asked, gesturing with his arms wide.

Tall, dark, handsome….

“Of the place?” Rey asked.

Kylo laughed without a smile, “Yeah, of the place.”

“A little scary, but I’m into it,” Rey said, half hoping and half not hoping he picked up on the double meaning.

He just hummed in response, the ghost of a smirk playing on his face. He definitely got it. 

Her boyfriend just dumped her for God’s sake, she should already being captivated by this giant man in front of her. She needed to rein herself in. This wasn’t college where she was flirty and ready for anything. Which was short lived in all actuality, because she hooked up with Finn that year.

“What made you need a change of pace?” Kylo pressed.

Rey sat up a little straighter, this was going to be a long night if he really wanted to know. “I just got back from a backpacking trip in Europe.”

“Good for you,” he commented, getting himself a glass and pouring a generous amount.

“It was like one of those I graduated college and I’m lost sort of things,” Rey told him.

“Did you find yourself?” Kylo asked, smiling ever so slightly.

It was one of those smiles that was teasing-- he knew that answer. People don’t find themselves in the Swiss Alps like it was a chapter of Eat, Pray, Love. They just run from their problems and spend a lot of money. She at least learned that. 

“Hardly,” she answered with the same smile. “And my boyfriend was totally cool with it and understood. We were going to stay exclusive while I was away,” Rey began.

“I’m sensing a but,” Kylo said.

“But-- while I was gone he apparently fell in love with our best friend and roommate. So, I’m boyfriendless, jobless and homeless. That’s why I need a change of pace,” Rey concluded. Saying it out loud made it feel so absurd, but it was her life right then.

Kylo rose his eyebrows, completely thrown off, “Fuck.”

Rey chuckled, “yeah, fuck.”

“So they kicked you out?” Kylo asked.

“No, but I don’t wanna fucking stay there,” Rey said. 

She was drunk; slurring and swearing. She needed to find a place for the night at least. Rey didn’t have enough money to stay at the dingiest motel in the city. 

“I’ll pay for a cab to take you anywhere you want to go,” he offered and it filled her with a warmth she hadn’t felt since she left for Europe.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Rey teased, she wasn’t ready to stop looking at this beauty just yet.

“No! No, not at all,” Kylo stammered, his sultry dark demeanor now like a nervous pre teen, “I mean, your money is as good as anybody’s.”

Rey might have taken insult to that if she couldn’t tell she was making him anxious, but the kind of anxious that made your cheeks burn and belly flutter. 

“So, why’d you get me a free drink?” Rey asked slowly, accentuating her words and full lips.

Rey was being bolder with a guy then she ever had been before and the power she had over him was exciting.

“No, that was me trying to make a beautiful woman to consider giving a giant like me the time of day,” Kylo admitted shyly.

Rey smiled at how such a huge, gorgeous man could be so small and insecure.

“I don’t a bribe for that,” Rey said, reaching for his hand, which she thought he would do in turn, he clearly felt a spark too; but shot his hand under the table and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

That act made Rey realize what she was getting into-- she had only been single for a few hours. This wasn’t her, and she was all of a sudden so embarrassed. Which another drink should fix, right?

“You are looking a little pale, I’m serious about that cab ride,” Kylo reminded her with pity distorting his features. He was attracted to her until she looked like she would puke from pounding booze.

“I don’t know where to go. I don’t have family, my friends are creating a love nest for sure-- I may have to call in a favor from Finn’s friend. Which is gonna be weird,” Rey’s brain was churning faster than her mouth. “Poe lives out in the next borough. Would you mind paying a fair that high?”

Kylo’s kindness suddenly went sour. “Poe? Poe Dameron? You know Poe Dameron?”

“Yes….”

Kylo ripped the drink from her hand causing it to spill on the bar between them.

“Get out,” he demanded.

“What? What the hell?” Rey’s voice was raising with defensiveness. 

“I own this place and I told you to get out,” he said. By the way his forehead veins popped, he clearly wasn’t one to keep his emotions in check. “And I’m not paying for a cab for Dameron’s place.”

“Can you at least tell me why you hate him? We aren’t even that close, he just---” 

“I don’t owe you anything,” was all he said.

He started viciously cleaning her glass and jerked his thumb towards the door.

Rey was so disoriented and mad and sad she didn’t know what to say-- so she said nothing. She went outside and sat on the curb to call a Lyft. She shot Poe a text that she was coming over, but didn’t go into depth. She was tired and Kylo’s behavior really put her off more than she already was. When the Lyft pulled up, she got in quickly and sulked in the back seat.

Poe being surprised that Rey was coming over would be the understatement of the millennium, but he was intrigued to see why nonetheless. He had an inkling, as Finn was his best friend and told him most things-- but Rey turning to him for comfort was a new one. He hoped she wasn’t going to throw herself at him in for some rebounding recovery; gotta stick to the bro code and all. In all honesty, he would have a hard time resisting.

Rey was a very interesting woman. Fierce, loyal (which was why Poe knew this betrayal really stun) and determined. Sometimes, it was misplaced. This backpacking trip she did was her way of trying to control her destiny, but really it made her neglect those she loved and didn’t set herself up well financially or for a career. But that was the part of the charm of her-- she’d survive. She always did.

“Dameron!” Rey greeted when she crawled drunkenly out of the Lyft. 

Uh oh, Poe was worried his throwing-herself at him theory was going to come to fruition. The driver gave Poe a side eye glance that said “dude, help her!” so he ran over and helped her step gingerly up on the curb.

Rey didn’t realize how drunk she was until she was on her own two feet, being hauled into a studio apartment above a bodega by Poe Dameron.

“I need couch for sleep,” Rey muttered. 

“Yes, Rey, you do,” Poe wasn’t angry, but he did have a night plan to hang out at Rebel Scum and pick up some hot ladies, but that could wait. 

“Finn dumped me,” Rey slurred, but it came out more as, “Fiff dum meh.”

They made it to the top of the stairs and Rey dove for the brown leather couch. She hated sleeping on leather couches, she woke up sweaty. Beggars can’t be choosers. 

“It’s only 7pm,” Poe remarked as Rey took the blanket thrown over the back and a mismatched couch pillow.

“You’re 7pm,” Rey muttered, but she was already asleep before she said anything else.

“I’ll be here if you wanna talk,” Poe said into the air while Rey began to snore.


	2. Rebel Scum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I still haven't decided the full length. I've got things mapped out, but not sure how long it will take to say everything I want. Leaning toward 25-30 chapters. I will update that count soon!

Rey didn’t rouse until 11am the next morning. She was woken up by Poe making eggs, though it smelled burnt because he wasn’t good at cleaning pans. Her head was vibrating, but sleeping felt good. Her body felt a thousand pounds, but she got up and grunted, pointing to ask which cabinet had the cups.

“Top left,” Poe said. “I waited as long as I could not to wake you, but I was starving.”

“Sorry to barge in,” Rey said sincerely as she filled her cup to the brim with water, gulped it, then refilled another, just to gulp that too. “Wasn’t cool.”

“You’re fine,” Poe said. “Eggs?”

“If I have anything but water I will vomit,” Rey gagged at the thought.

She moved back to the couch and put the pillow over her head. Maybe if she stayed under here long enough, she could disappear and wouldn’t have to deal with her life or this ridiculous hangover.

“Ready to talk?” Poe asked, scooping the eggs onto a plate with a plastic spatula.

Rey let out a long breath. The disappearing act wasn’t working. 

“How much do you know?” Rey questioned.

Poe nudged her feet over and ate at the coffee table.

“I know that Finn was really torn and needed to talk to you. That he feels terribly about it but can’t fight what feels right for him,” Poe said.

Poe remembered the talk they had at Rebel Scum the night when Finn revealed he developed feelings for Rose. It wasn’t a giddy schoolboy with a new crush, it was a confused shell of a man.

“Doesn’t change that what he did was shitty,” Rey countered. She was pissed. She was the one cruelly dumped and Finn was the forlorn hero in this love story?

“You’re right. If you need to crash here for a few days, I get it,” Poe said, but he didn’t mean it. Rey could tell by the low dip in his voice. 

“It’s cool. I gotta figure out something long term. I haven’t a penny,” Rey said.

“I wish I could help,” Poe said. That, she could tell was true.

This is city was a killer and no one had change to spare. Well, except for those elite families that Rey never associated with. As for herself, she saved up a few thousand for her trip, and didn’t spend much staying in hostels and living off the grid-- but what she had wouldn’t last long. Finn and Rose also didn’t make her pay her share while she was gone, which looking back may have been out of pity. 

Rey would need a job fast or move out of the city. With no family, Rey had no one to fall back on. In her twenty-three years of life, she had always accepted she was an orphan. Right then she was really wishing her parents hadn’t left her on the doorstep of that London hospital with nothing. 

“Wait, I think I know someone who can help!” Poe exclaimed brightly like he had just figured it all out. “Rebel Scum.”

“More drinking will not help me, Poe,” Rey whined.

“No, the owner. Leia. She’s so cool,,” Poe continued, “If I put in a good word for you, she may give you a job and there is a room above the bar for rent. You’ll have roommates, but it’s affordable.”

Rey saw a bright spot for the first time since she set her feet back on US soil. The first being Kylo Ren, until he was a ferocious ass to her.

“Poe! You’re amazing!” Rey gave him a hug, but pulled away quickly. She was never really an affectionate person, but the mood struck her. 

When she raised her arms to hug, she smelled herself-- this was not a good, or sweet smelling, first impression to make on Leia Organa-Solo. 

“Um, can I grab a shower first?” She asked.

Poe sniffed, “Please.”

After a brisk shower, Rey came out smelling like a suave Guatemalan ladies’ man, but it was much better than before. The two rode in relative silence on the subway, Poe with his ear buds in listening to music and Rey trying to think about anything but Finn and Rose, and failing miserably. 

If the were waiting to be intiamte until Finn broke it off in person, did they have sex last night? While she was a few doors down at the dangerous gang bar, were they banging? In her bed? On her sheets that her and FInn bought together at Target? Would she get the sheets back when she moved out? Really, Finn picked them out and she just agreed because her eyes would be closed when she was using them, so who really cared, right? Finn cared. He spent 45 minutes trying to pick which hue of blue. That was the most wonderful and most infuriating thing about Finn, he cared so much. Maybe that’s why he turned to Rose when she left-- he needed someone to care for and Rey wouldn’t let him. 

She felt Poe nudge her arm to remind her their stop was coming up. They got off with a bunch of others, and Rey thought idly if any would be her roommates. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself, but moving out of that two bedroom one bath love nest Rose and Finn were creating sounded like the best thing that could happen.

Rebel Scum a short ten minute walk from the subway stop, but with Poe’s long legs and Rey’s determination, it was more like six. The bar had just opened for the day, so when they walked in, they were only greeted by the beautiful bartender getting things prepped. She was an older woman with purple hair, and had an air about her that said she was wise and had seen some shit. She probably heard a lot of sob stories from her patrons-- she was that kind of safe person.

“Hey Ms. Holdo,” Poe smiled warmly.

“Poe, you need to stop calling me that! It’s Amilyn to you or you keep your mouth shut,” she said seriously, but there was a flicker of a smirk at the corner of her mouth.

“She loves me,” Poe said to Rey. “Is Leia here?” 

“She should be around here somewhere. Everything alright?” Amilyn asked.

“My friend Rey here is looking for a job and a roof,” Poe said.

“Well, we’ve got both,” the woman turned to Rey and smile brightly. “Do you have any bartending experience?”

“Uh… I have a lot of drinking experience,” Rey tried to joke.

Luckily, Amilyn laughed heartily. “I’ll go grab Leia so you two can start chatting.”

Amilyn disappeared to the back and Rey turned to Poe. 

“I’m terrified. I’m shitting in my pants,” Rey admitted.

“Relax. Leia is cool,” Poe reassured her, but to no avail. He could see Rey bouncing on her toes. 

The woman in question emerged from the back and Rey was struck by her elegance. She ran a bar called Rebel Scum for Christ’s Sake, but she commanded the room like a politician. Her hair was wound in loose intricate braids and wore gray robes that looked as if they were floating around her. The times Rey and her friends had ever gone to Rebel Scum, she never paid much attention, but Rey would have remembered if she met her.

Leia was very kind and swept her up in a hug, soothing her a little.

“Poe called and explained a little before you arrived,” Leia said softly.

Damn sneaky bastard. Must have been while she was in the shower. Rey would have put her head in her hands if Leia wasn’t holding them.

“I’m so embarrassed,” Rey sighed.

“Oh please, nonsense. Life is full of complications. It puts us all through the ringer. Want to sit?” Leia gestured towards a high top table with two seats. 

Rey was anxious and wanted Poe to stay, but she needed to be a big girl and take back the reins on her crumbling life.

Poe got that picture and gave a little salute and hugged the ladies goodbye. “Let me know if you need anything else, Rey.” 

The door creaked behind him as he left.

“He’s quite the wild card, isn’t he?” Leia remarked with a maternal twinkle in her eye.

“Yeah, he’s really come through for me and he’s really more of my boyfriend’s-- er, ex boyfriend's-- friend,” Rey said awkwardly.

Leia nodded thoughtfully and motioned for Amilyn to bring them waters, which she sat on the table and went back to the bar to give them privacy. 

“What should we tackle first? I’d like to get you moved in upstairs as soon as possible. I think it’ll put you in a better place for getting back to work,” Leia began. “We can start off rent as 500 a month until you get back on your feet. You can start paying first of next month. No contracts or rules or any of that, just be kind and respectful. I’m sure the house mates will have guidelines, but everyone is pretty laid back here.”

500 a month? In this city that could get you rent on a parking spot with a mattress between the lines. The offer was beyond generous and Rey felt uncomfortable taking it, she felt like she would be taking advantage of her kindness.

“I can’t possibly accept. I do not want to take advant-” Rey stopped when she saw the pointed head tilt Leia was giving her, “I want to work for what I get.”

“And you will. Once you get settled in,” Leia insisted. “Now, why don’t you come upstairs and meet the clan.”

Leia took a quick sip of water and ushered Rey behind the bar and up the wooden stairs in the far corner. The back was filled with the typical stuff, a small kitchen, walk in cooler and alcohol storage. The back stairs felt like a secret she was being let in on.

“There is a door to the right of the stairs that goes out to the alley, you can use that one when we are open,” Leia explained. 

At the top of the stairs was a white peeling door that just had the letter B on it. Was there an apartment A? Where could they have stuffed it? Leia rummaged through one of her robe pockets and handed it to Rey. There were two sets, one from the alley door and one for apartment door. She had Rey try it to make sure she got the trick-- you had to lean in and push as you unlocked, and was immediately hit with the smell of incense and petualli. Bunch of hippies, Rey thought playfully.

Sitting on the paisley couch was a big hairy man who looked like a lumberjack in denim and flannel. 

“Was this the new little lady you were telling me about, princess?” The big man said. He got up to shake hands and Rey took in just how tall he was. And she thought the owner of The Dark Side was big.

Leia lightly knocked the man’s arm when he called her princess. 

“That’s an old nickname from long ago,” Leia explained to Rey.

“I’m Chewie,” the man introduced himself. He was as big and fuzzy as a lifesize teddy bear. Or a larger than life teddy bear, more accurately. 

“This is my husband’s best friend,” Leia said. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a husband. Does he work here too?” Rey asked.

“Well, we are very much our own people though we are wed. He travels a lot for work, but he always knows he has a place at home with me,” Leia told her.

It was a vague explanation, but it wasn’t much of her business and she shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, either. 

“You ladies sit tight, I’ll have Kaydel and Maz come out,” Chewie padded over to a hallway off the living room to the left and knocked on some doors. “Up and at ‘em ladies! Rey is here.”

How many people knew about her already?

The two women that came out were so different it was complically to see them stand next to each other as they greeted her.

The young blonde woman called Kaydel was beautiful and polite, while the little old woman who went by Maz was jittery and had an intense energy that put Rey on guard. 

“I hope you smell better than our last roomie,” Maz commented, looking directly at Leia.

“That was my brother, dear Maz,” she laughed. 

“I know. Doesn’t change his scent,” Maz grumbled, but it seemed to be all in good fun.

“My twin, Luke, is out discovering himself, much like your backpacking trip. He bought a big van and his driving the country,” Leia explained to Rey. “Perhaps that is why I was so sensitive to your plight.”

“And guys are jerks,” Kaydel said, then slapped her hand over her mouth. “Oops sorry, I wasn’t supposed to reveal I knew that. I’m Kaydel.”

Rey had a feeling that by living here, she would be saying goodbye to any ounce of privacy.

“It’s okay,” Rey said. “You’re not wrong.”

The girls giggled together and Rey was excited to have the potential of a girlfriend her own age, since it was hard to look Rose in the eye much at all. Still, she could use some anonymity with her personal life. 

“I can help you grab your things, doll,” Chewie offered. “I’m good with lifting stuff.”

“He’s a damn down right brute,” Maz mumbled and shuffled back to her room. 

“She’s harmless,” Chewie assured her. “So, ya ready?”

Rey swallowed hard. “Like, right now?”

“As good a time as any,” Chewie said.

Rey guessed there was no fighting that logic. “I don’t have anything packed.”

“Won’t take long, right?” Kaydel interjected. “For moral support, you know. We don’t mind waiting.”

Leia laid a hand gently on Rey’s shoulder, “It’ll be fine, dear. Chewie and Kaydel will take good care of you.”

What had she done in her life to deserve all this kindness?

“Well, I guess,” Rey conceded.

“I’ll get my jeep!” Chewie said excitedly like maybe all along he was just waiting for an excuse to use his jeep in a cluttered city.

Once Rey, Kaydel and Chewoe piled into the jeep that was probably twenty years old, Rey gave directions to her street. It probably would have been faster to take the subway and just carry everything in their arms. She didn’t want to take much-- it would all remind her of the time she had with Finn.

“You live near The Dark Side, dontcha?” Chewie tried to ask casually, but his tone was anything but casual. “Does it make it a bad area? Like with the rough crowd that goes there.”

Rey pondered why he would ask such a question. Sure, The Dark Side and Rebel Scum attracted different types of people.. It wouldn’t make sense that they were business rivals. 

“No, they are pretty contained,” Rey said. “I actually went there for the first time last night. It is shady, I think I heard some ugly bald guy doing a drug deal behind me. But the owner is…”

Rey trailed off, not sure how to describe him to people she just met. She certainly couldn’t convey how he made her tense and fluttery at the same time by just looking at him-- the most sexual desire she had felt since she left for Europe, and admittedly probably even before that. She wondered if she’d ever see him again.

“Is what?” Chewie probed further.

“Interesting. When I mentioned my friend Poe, he kicked me out, actually, before that he was nice to me,” Rey explained.

“Well, that makes sense,” Chewie said under his breath that Rey couldn’t quite hear.

“What?” Rey asked.

“Nothing. Don’t worry yourself with it. Ancient history,” Chewie gave her a fake smile in the rearview mirror.

Before Rey could ask more, she wasn’t going to let ‘ancient history’ fly as an explanation, especially since they knew all of her business, but she stopped herself as they pulled up to her-- _their_ apartment building.

“This is it, huh,” Rey said more to herself than anyone else. Chewie and Kaydel still responded with a simple, “yeah.”

Well, shit.


	3. Moving Out

Rey had Chewie and Kaydel wait out of sight of the door way. She didn’t want to make Rose and Finn uncomfortable by bringing strangers into the apartment. Her heart was skittering in her chest and she felt like puking. Maybe it was the wicked strong hangover still, but she chose to ignore that. Dealing with real life was very sobering.

Finn had opened the door with a curious face. It quickly changed to empathy when he saw her and she hated it that he still cared enough to be remorseful.

“I um, found a place and wanted to collect some things,” she said quickly, there was no sense in pleasantries now.

“That was quick,” Finn commented almost sadly. “This is a good time, Rose is at dinner with Paige.”

“Wonderful,” Rey grumbled. She was kind of hoping that she would be there too to watch her pack her pathetic few things and feel guilty. “I brought my new roommates to help, I hope that’s okay.”

Finn raised his eyebrows almost like he didn’t believe her. “Uh, sure.”

Kaydel and Chewie pushed past her and started pointing at any object in the living room with value, asking, “this is yours, right? This too?”

“Guys, guys, I’m just going to take clothes and pictures. Follow me,” Rey waved her hand towards the back bedroom and held her breath.

Nothing was as it once was. Her stuff was already packed up in a corner. Three medium, drooping boxes and a large one of Rey’s mystery and suspense novels. She walked throughout the room, seeing if he missed anything. He hadn’t. The bed that was on the center wall was against it instead. Rey was claustrophobic if the side of the best was against the wall, so it always in the middle. The move did open up the room more, she had to admit.

Rey imagined Rose giggling and Finn tickling her sides as she crawled over him to get to her side of the bed. 

Kaydel and Chewie waited awkwardly in the corner as they watched Rey’s eyes crazed with flooding memories and regrets. Finn entered the room slowly and put his hands in his pockets.

“Sorry if I was presumptuous in packing that stuff. I just-- the way things went last night I figured you weren’t going to stay. I wanted to help,” Finn said.

Fuck, would he stop being so thoughtful for thirty seconds?

“Uh, thanks,” Rey’s voice was small. 

“Also, Rose said you can have her old mattress,” Finn offered warily.

Okay, he was being kind, but this charitable act was getting holier than thou and Rey had had enough. Her demure thankfulness and understanding quickly burned out and her sharp, hurtful snark locked back into place inside her.

“I’ll sleep on the cold floor, thanks. Chewie, Kaydel, grab the boxes. We’re out of here,” Rey huffed and slammed the door behind her and sat in the car as her new friends and roommates gathered her things.

“I think she’s upset,” Chewie whispered to Kaydel.

“No shit, you big dog,” Kaydel said back. She turned to Finn, “we will just grab these and take our leave. No need to walk us out.”

It had only been three minutes before Chewie’s Jeep was no longer large enough to harbor Rey’s rage. The Dark Side was nearby and thoughts of Kylo crept in. She wanted someone to yell at, someone who wasn’t so fucking nice and thoughtful and maybe even didn’t deserve it-- just wanted to get in a screaming match and drink and maybe angrily make out with a hot guy.

She lept from the Jeep and stomped her way to The Dark Side. Once she walked in, the room went silent as it had before, but didn’t last as long. Hux was at the bar again and outwardly rolled his eyes and sighed when he laid eyes on her red face and clenched fists.

“You’re not welcome here,” Hux said like an exhausted teenager that wanted to argue with his mom but was too apathetic to really give it his all.

“Then have the owner come kick me out,” Rey pressed.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Snoke giving her an up-down, pausing his intense conversation with a tall woman, probably a patron of his services. 

Hux shrugged his shoulders, “Remember, you asked for this,” and walked behind the bar. 

Rey waited nervously. Now that she slowed down, she felt bad for ditching the people who came to help her without so much as a word, as she didn’t even help carry her own shit. She was a real dumpster bitch. But before she could retreat back to the jeep, Kylo came out, his stare penetrating and deliciously uncomfortable.

“You again,” he scowled.

Hearing his voice gave Rey more resolve to respond with, “It’s Rey, by the way. I don’t think you got my name last time.”

“I don’t need it, because you’re not a customer here,” Kylo shot back.

Arguing with him was titillating, Rey found by the way her body responded to his clap back; her legs were trembling, nothing to say of her thumping heart. It was-- though she’d never admit it to another living thing-- arousing. 

“Are you going to hide behind your bar and tell me that, or come to my face?” Rey challenged.

“Gladly,” Kylo said with an emotionless face and hopped over the counter so fluidly you’d think he was an action star in a movie made just for him.

Oh fuck, she didn’t think he’s actually take the bait.

He sauntered up to where she stood by the door. So close, she felt the heat of his breath on her nose, for he was too tall to be actually face to face with her. The closer he got, the more rigid Rey’s body became.

Before Rey could find out exactly what exactly he would do to her, the Snoke character slide in beside Kylo. Where as Kylo was large and dark and intense, Snoke was imposing and haunting and terrifying. Snoke was somehow even larger than Kylo, but in an inhuman way. He was not broad shouldered ans strong looking like Kylo, but lanky and misshapened somehow.

“Take her outside, Kylo. She’s bad for business,” Snoke hissed at Rey.

Kylo didn’t respond, instead he grabbed Rey by the arm, firmly but not painfully, and led her behind the bar to a door that led to the alley in the back. Once the screen door slammed behind them, something subtle changed in Kylo. The hard cut of his jaw softened and his eyes were darker but kinder in the way they shone.

“Alright, run away screaming like I did something horrible to you,” Kylo grumbled. 

Rey thought she heard a record scratch in the distance, her head did that much of a double take. She let her muscles relax just a bit. He wasn’t going to do anything? That must have been what Snoke meant when he instructed Kylo to “take her outside.” Mobster talk like ‘sleeping with the fishes’ or ‘ripping off fingernails one by one until she spilled the location of the drug money.’

“You’re not....?” Rey couldn’t even finish her question, she was so stunned.

Kylo sighed and ran his large hand through his air. It looked soft to the touch.

“Just don’t come back, okay?” His voice was uncharacteristically pleading.

“What if I want to see you again?” Rey blurted before her mind could stop her.

He looked uncomfortable and confused for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“Why would you want that?” Kylo asked with genuine interest.

“I don’t know,” Rey shrugged in return. “I just do, I think.”

Kylo almost smirked, a ghost of something playing on his lips, before clearing his throat and swiping a hand through the glorious hair again. Rey was guessing that was his nervous tick.

“I have a phone number,” he said dumbly.

Rey laughed, “Most do.”

“Uh, yeah, right,” Kylo mumbled. “Well, I can give it to you.”

“I’d like that,” Rey smiled brightly, her favorite attribute of herself, to show off.

Kylo took a pen from his black jean pocket and took her hand. The touch was light and meaningless, but it sent Rey into a tailspin. His hands were hard and calloused and so goddamn big, but perfect all the same, too.

He uncapped the pen with his mouth and Rey watched his face scrunch in concentration as he wrote 10 digits on her hand. His lips were so plush they enveloped the cap and Rey had never thought in her life that something as simple as uncapping a pen could make her squeeze her thighs like she was right then.

“Um, I have weird hours so I may not always answer, but I’m interested to see what you have to say,” Kylo said, trying to be smooth by the way he quirked his eyebrow, but it just came off awkward and unbelievably adorable. 

“Ditto,” Rey said.

“Let’s just...not talk about Dameron,” Kylo said.

“What is it about him? Are you jealous?” Rey teased with a playful, mischievous glint in her eyes.

Kylo huffed, “Yeah, right. He’s a man of talk and no action.”

“They way you talk about him makes me think you know him a little better than you let on,” Rey was genuinely curious. She wanted to know everything about him, the good, bad, ugly and sexy.

“Mention my name to him. I’m intrigued to know how he reacts,” Kylo said  
.   
He paused as he heard shuffling in the back room of the bar from where they were in the alley.

“You gotta go,” Kylo told her.

Rey nodded, disappointed, but kept her word and ran away with a fake scream, keeping eye contact with Kylo until she rounded the corner and back onto the street.

Once she returned to the jeep, Kaydel and Chewie leaned on the jeep waiting and she immediately felt like a huge ass.

“I’m sorry I ditched I just--” 

“Its okay, I’m sure it was hard,” Kaydel said, and Rey hoped that she meant it. The she would feel less guilty. “Where did you go?”

“Just for a walk,” Rey lied. She probably didn’t need to, everyone at Rebel Scum was so kind and understanding, but her moment with Kylo she wanted to keep special.

“I say let’s get the hell out of here. I hate this side of town. No offense, of course,” Chewie smiled.

Rey chuckled. “None taken. I’m starting to not like it either.”

Well, except for Kylo….

It didn’t take long to get her stuff in her new room. It was small, probably wouldn’t fit a queen bed and a dresser as well. Maybe it was alright she didn’t have any furniture, it would take up too much space. But when she plopped down on the faded hardwood floor, she realized she should’ve just bit the bullet and taken Rose’s old mattress. 

She sighed. What was the use of sitting here, not making anything of herself, not fixing her situation? She had been alone her whole life and she always found a way to make it. She had tons of pillows and blankets with her, she could build herself a nest. Build a dresser out of her cardboard boxes. Once she put up her posters and knick knacks, it would feel like a home. Once she got some money, she could slowly get some used furniture. This was okay. She would be okay. 

Who was she kidding? She’s a loser. A mess. She needed a drink. It was probably going to be an issue living so close to a bar, but for now, she was elated. She walked out of her room and down the stairs and Amilyn was there to give her what she needed. What a dream.

“Rum and coke, please,” Rey said sitting on a stool at the bar, handing her card and ID on the table.

“On the house, hun,” Amilyn smiled warmly. She expertly made her drink in record time, topped with a lime, as Rey put her cards away.

“Thank you,” Rey said before taking a hearty sip and wincing a little. But the burn was good.

“A welcome to Rebel Scum treat,” Amilyn said. “Do you have any questions about the place?”

There was something that had been on Rey’s mind, “I’m into mysteries, mysterious things. What is the story with Apartment A? I only see B.”

Amilyn smiled, but there was a hint of apprehension in it, “I’m surprised you noticed that. Very observant.”

“I’ve taken care of myself most of my life. It comes with the trade,” Rey said.

“Well, it is not my place to gossip, but I can tell you a bit. Rebel Scum was supposed to be Leia’s family business. Her son was supposed to live in Apartment A and help her run Rebel Scum. It is an annex around the back, behind the walk in cooler. Weird little place. They had a falling out, and he left, and she is keeping it empty for him in case he returns,” Amilyn explained.

“That’s really sad. If I had a family, I would never abandon them like that,” Rey said. How could someone betray Leia, she was so kind and thoughtful. Especially her own son.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that cut and dry. I watched that boy grow up, he was always plagued with an eternal sadness, and almost tangible darkness. He lost himself in it,” Amilyn said cryptically.

“What was his name?”

“Ben. But please, Rey, this is a very sensitive subject for Leia, so we do not talk about it around her. Understood?”

Rey nodded quickly. “Of course, of course.”

Apartment A was for Ben. It was behind the walk in cooler. Would it be locked? Would it still have some of his things in it? Was a like a shrine for the dead? The survivor in her wondered if there was still a bed in there she could sleep on… but that was out of the question. It was a sacred space for Leia, and she couldn’t steal from it. How would she get it up the stairs anyway? Her nest of pillows would be fine.

Rey went back upstairs after a second Rum and Coke and made her bed. She would work on the cardboard dresser tomorrow when she had more energy. She and Amilyn had talked for a while; about her trip to Europe and Amilyn’s family. She had no children of her own, or a partner, but she loved her nieces and nephews dearly. Rey wondered if she had seen Ben as one of her nephews when he was young.

Two names were taking turns swirling in her head-- Kylo Ren and Ben. Both men of mystery that could keep her mind company instead of thoughts of Finn and Rose. She imagined what the falling out between Leia and Ben was. Maybe he didn’t want to get into the family business and Leia wouldn’t take no for an answer. No, that didn’t sound like her. A forbidden love? Did he have kind eyes like Leia, or look more like his father who she had yet to meet?

As she laid on her pillows and struggled to sleep, Ben began to feel like an old friend to her, or a long lost lover. She crafted him in her mind as a misunderstood, brooding guy with a storied past and large hands-- he liked music and whiskey and laughed from his belly. 

She checked the clock on her phone-- 3:23am. She audibly groaned; her head was swimming with too much to sleep, when that was all she needed. In the glow of the phone, she could see Kylo’s phone number on her hand. She typed it in and saved him as a contact. It was a weird hour, he had weird hours. She could shoot him a harmless text, right? If he didn’t answer, no big deal.

_R: Hey, this is Rey. From the bar._

_The response was immediate, and she hoped he maybe had been waiting to hear from her._

_K: Hi, Rey from the bar. Just finished cleaning up the place._

_R: Don’t you have little workers to do that for you? As the big owner?_

_K: Big owner? Haha. When I want something done right, I do it myself._

Was that flirtatious, or was Rey reading too much into it? Anything that came from his lips, and apparently his fingers, seemed like a sexual advance. He just oozed sex from his pours. All she could hear in that text was, If you wanted to be done right, I’ll do you myself.

_R: Is that right? So you know what you’re doing?_

Was she going to far with this?

_K: So I’ve been told._

_K: Wanna come to my place for a nightcap?_

Flirting was one thing, but actually going over there, probably for sex-- that was too real for right now. Too much for everything that was going on in her life. 

_R: Raincheck? I’ve got a call it a night._

Rey put the phone beside her. She heard it buzz, probably him saying it was fine, but she couldn’t bear to look at it anyway. She was so torn and embarrassed and why the fuck couldn’t she fall asleep?

She must have at some point, because the next morning at 7:30, Rey woke up with an ache in her side and back, and a determination to break into Apartment A for a real mattress.


	4. An Unusual Proposal

Rey stretched out her sore limbs, disgusted with the audible cracks. Against her better judgement, she would find a way into Apartment A. If she couldn’t sneak the mattress upstairs, maybe she could take little catnaps here and there to keep her mind and body sane. She would be starting work soon and would need rest to make money. She told herself it was temporary and no one would find out. 

She gathered up her clothes and toiletries and headed to the bathroom. All four of them had to share a single bathroom, which she shouldn’t complain about, but Chewie was a hairy guy and shed like a golden retriever. The steamy shower felt delicious though, and she was at the bar by eight.

Leia never specifically said when her start date was, but Rey wanted to prove she was committed and ready and willing to start as soon as possible. Also, making money was a much added bonus. No one was there yet- which was strange. The bar didn’t open until 11, but she heard Leia clattering around at all hours last night, so she figured she must always be here. 

Instead, Rey opted to investigate around the bar, her ever burning curiosity enveloping her. The place was decorated with old 90’s grunge rock posters, along with memorabilia and pictures with customers and bands. There was a picture of Poe grinning with Leia that looked to be taken recently. It was a Polaroid posted next to a whole array of pictures dating back to the eighties. 

Nearby, there was a disposable camera picture dated 7-12-89. A young, gorgeous Leia in white robes held a baby in her arms, couldn’t be more than a few months old, wearing overalls. Beside her was a handsome guy with a charming smile: Han, Rey guessed. With beautiful parents, Ben had to be a striking adult.

This baby was Ben, wasn’t it? The photo was low quality, but Rey could already tell at that young age he had his mother’s eyes. Ben. She touched the photo lightly. Ben must be 31, wherever he was. Did Leia and Han even know if he was still alive? 

He would be eight years older than her. He could have kids, Leia and Han could be grandparents. She suddenly was angry with Ben, robbing them of this opportunity. What could they have done that made him shun them so? Rey’s brain was aching, her instinct to know what she was forbidden to crept into her.

Ever since she was a child, the unknown terrified her. Which foster home she would go to next, where she would get her next meal-- no sense of security made Rey turn to books layered with mysteries that she could figure out. In an Agatha Christie novel, there were always hints to the truth and that helped Rey map out what the character would do next. Gathering information prepared her for every situation; she would never be surprised or thrown into it again. And, then, into her lap while her life was a minefield of unknown-- _Ben_. Ben Solo was a mystery that had a clear answer. Why he left, where he was, who he was. 

There were so many pictures on this board, no one would notice if she kept it with her for research purposes. She slid the picture in her back jean pocket, careful not to crinkle it in anyway for when she would put it back up.

Just as the picture disappeared in her pocket, Leia rushed in under a flurry of pale blue robes. Rey quickly shifted some pictures to fill the hole it left.

“Oh, Rey!” Leia stopped mid stride, surprised. “How are you, dear?”

“Just eager to start bar-tending,” Rey said, trying to hide the kiss-assery in her voice.

“Love that spirit, but I said you could get settled first,” Leia reminded her.

“I’m settled,” Rey insisted. 

Leia sighed, an exasperated but proud sigh Rey imagined a parent would give when their child bested them in an argument. “Amilyn will be able to get your training going when she is in at ten. I would love to, but I’m afraid I must pick up Han at the airport.”

“I’m excited to meet him,” Rey said.

“Oh, he’s nothing much,” Leia laughed musically.

“He was very handsome at one point. I was looking at some of the pictures here,” Rey said, treading carefully. Maybe a casual start to an interrogation would soften her.

Instead, Leia’s golden smile fell. She must have been thinking of the pictures of Ben on that wall, too.

“Ah, well yes. Forgive me Rey, I’m going to be late,” Leia said. She gave a curt bow and scurried out the front door, a lot less graceful than when she entered. 

Rey had free reign. She searched the picture wall longer, but didn’t find pictures of Ben over the age of three. At that point he was still a combination of Leia and Han, not yet developed into a singular person that she could tell what an adult version would look like. Rey doubt it would be anyone she knew anyway, he could be anywhere in the world. Hell, he could be an astronaut floating through space for all she knew. 

She wouldn’t be able to sneak a mattress up and down the stairs from Apartment A on that bright as hell morning, so she would have to wait until that night when the action died down. How could she kill a few hours? A devious thought slipped past her id: text Kylo. Call Kylo. Fuck Kylo. Shut up!

But those damn fingers had a mind of their own.

_R: Sorry about last night. I was super tired._

Which wasn’t a lie. She was so torn she practically roadkill-- she wanted to see him, hang out with him, _kiss him,_ but Ben and Finn were holding her back. And Ben wasn’t even a whole ass person. Kylo seemed to like her, should she give him a chance? He was mixed up in some shit she didn’t need. Anything to do with Kylo Ren would be shrouded in darkness-- and mystery.

_R: Can I cash in my rain check for that nightcap tonight?_

_K: I would like if you did. I’ll send you my address. It’ll be late though, I hope you’re cool with that. I could get out by 1am._

Not ideal, but that may mean she would have time before hand to sneak into Apartment A. It wasn’t about the bed anymore, she had to admit that-- it was Ben’s inner thoughts, his world left behind. 

_R: You’re lucky I’m a night owl._

_K: I think I’m just lucky._

Rey smiled at that, despite the oozing cheese of it.

_R: Smooth._

_K: Smoother than Skippy. See you tonight. I’ll have your rum and coke ready._

He remembered her drink of choice. Rey would like to think she wasn’t hard to forget. Being surrounded by old guys and drugged out patrons when they met probably made her stand out a bit from the crowd, she figured. 

Rey spend the next couple of hours sorting her clothes and constructing her dresser with duct tape she found in a kitchen drawer. There was a timid knock on her door. She was obviously inside, she couldn’t pretend she was out-- but she also didn’t want whoever was on the other side to take pity on her once they saw her desolate space. She rose to her feet and opened the paint chipped door a crack.

Kaydel was on the other side, her little mousy blonde face curious and innocent like Cindy Lou Who. 

“I heard some tape and grunting noises. I wanted to see if I could help,” Kaydel squeaked out.

“Um,” Rey looked back at her mess of a room and sighed, “I’m good. You guys are very helpful around here.”

“The Rebel Scum way, I guess,” Kaydel replied shyly. “My mom was a good friend of Leia’s before she passed away unexpectedly. Then my grandma, who lived with us, died the next day. Of grief, I think. It’s unnatural for a child to go before their parents, and Grandma felt that. My father was never much in the picture-- Leia took me in no questions asked. I was 16.”

“Wow, Kaydel, I had no idea. I’m so sorry,” Rey said, her eyes brimming with genuinity. 

“I won’t lie, it was terrible. I would go days without sleeping, just crying, then sleeping 16, 18 hours at a time. I dropped out of school. But Leia was patient. She worked with me on my GED and here I am now. I’m applying to navigation school in a few weeks,” Kaydel ended on a happier note.

“That’s incredible,” Rey said

Being a roughened up orphan from London, Rey got locked in this way of thinking that everyone’s life was a breeze. It often kept her from getting close to people-- but Kaydel was so open and it was inspiring. Finn and Rose knew bits and pieces, she was dropped off at a hospital as a baby, never able to find her parents and bounced from orphanage to foster home to group home and back-- but never the details. Never her inner thoughts of those times-- how she didn’t sleep at night out of fear of disappearing into the darkness and the world being none the wiser, because who was looking for her?

“Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s okay to ask for and accept help.”

Rey looked back into her room for another time, resolving to open the door wider and let Kaydel in.

“Hmm,” was all Kaydel said as she surveyed the condition of the room. “Cardboard dresser is cute, but we need real furniture in here.”

“That’s stating the obvious,” Rey tried not to roll her eyes. This was why she didn’t want anyone seeing. There was no use talking about what she couldn’t have.

“I understand that, but I think you’re not being creative enough. I can’t give you money, so I think I have another solution. Tomorrow, meet me and Chewie in the living room bright and early tomorrow morning. In the meantime, you can sleep on the couch in the living room. No need to sleep on a bed of pillows,” Kaydel suggested.

“I don’t want to disturb anybody,” Rey said.

“You won’t! Tomorrow, me and Chew will get you the hook up. All free of charge,” with that, Kaydel gave a wink and skipped out of the room like a fairy godmother granting her very own Cinderella a wish.

Rey put a pause on her little projects and tried to find Kylo Ren on Facebook to no avail. By 10, she was downstairs to meet Amilyn and start their practice.

Amilyn taught the ways and lingo of bar-tending and they started on memorizing a few basic cocktails. Rey felt very safe with the older woman and felt less nervous as the day went on. She was confident in a classic Manhattan the most, and it may have to be her new drink of choice. She didn’t start serving the people trickling in right off the bat, but was itching to help Amilyn around 5 when things were getting faster paced.

“You must watch first before you do,” Amilyn smiled.

Despite the huge rush that came in at 6 with drinks and pub food orders, Amilyn was never flustered or out of control. She was quite the woman to behold. Chewie was her faithful barback and Kaydel took care of the tables and ran drinks and food to people-- they were a well oiled machine and Rey felt almost rude interrupting their flow.

“Miller Lite and cheese fries for the lonely gentleman at table 3,” Amilyn passed the tray to Kaydel and she nodded.

“He’s handsome, he won’t be lonely for long,” Kaydel smirked and headed over for a harmless flirt.

Amilyn let Rey cut out at 10pm. She could only watch for so long, but she felt it was beneficial. She wanted to work all night to pass the time until she went to see Kylo. There were too many people in the kitchen working for her to investigate Apartment A either. 

Instead, she opted for a shower to make herself presentable. She put some light, bouncy curls in her hair and wore a simple black fitted tee and holey jeans. Rey was going for the not trying at all look, but actually tried really hard.

Rey splurged on an Uber to take her to the address Kylo sent her a few hours before. It was further from The Dark Side than she assumed it would be. It was actually in a fairly nice neighborhood and his apartment was a part of a clean, up to date building. There was even a doorman who very blatantly gave her the up down as she walked in.The old man grunted something incoherent and went back to his paper. 

Kylo came out of the elevator moments later to Rey’s relief. He was wearing a plain stonewash grey shirt and black jeans, what he usually wore, but it looked so unfamilar to Rey outside of that setting. He looked less godly and more human, and it made her shiver with anticipation to know him more deeply. 

“Rey,” Kylo greeted. It was simple, just her name, but from his pouty lips it did something more to her. 

“I’m here,” Rey replied, God, stating the obvious, right? 

Why was she so nervous? She wanted to come over, get to know him better, but she’s not ready to jump in the sack with anymore just yet after Finn. It would do a disservice to what they had before. Or did he already do that when he left her for Rose?

Despite Rey’s social ineptitude, Kylo just chuckled and ushered her into the elevator.

“Your place is fancy,” Rey said. 

She felt like she kept putting her foot in her mouth. She should push the emergency button on the elevator and escape, or fake an injury, or just collapse and pretend she was unconscious so she didn’t have to engage with him anymore.

There was that incredibly deep and harmonic chuckle again from him.

“Maybe it is. Save your verdict until you see the inside.”

They stopped at the eighth floor and Kylo led her to his door, Apartment A. She felt a tug at her heart from somewhere-- she thought of Ben-- was he living in a place like this? Was he struggling to survive wherever he was?

Kylo opened the door and the fact he thought the place wasn’t fancy was lunacy; the floor was of stone and relentlessly shiny, the furniture was decadent and thoughtfully place. He had a grand gold mirror in the hall and an iron spiral staircase that led upstairs. 

“This is the sitting room. Off to the right is the kitchen, living room on the left. The bathroom is off the living room,” Kylo paused and licked his lips, “a guest room is upstairs,” another heated pause, “as well as my own bedroom.”

Did Rey detect... nervousness? Surely someone as handsome as him had plenty of women in and out of here with devious intentions. Not that she was one of those women, of course. Just wanted to get to know him, that was all.

“I have my bar in the living room,” Kylo offered after a bout of silence.

Rey followed, and the living room was as incredible. He had a fully stocked personal bar in the living room, sectioned off with a black tiled floor. He had three stools and blue lights coming from under the counter.

“This is incredible,” Rey commented, settling herself on the middle stool while he fixed her a rum and coke. “You’ve probably been making drinks all day, I can make my own.”

Kylo waved her off with a hand, “Please, Rey. You are my guest.”

Topped with a lime, Kylo set Rey’s drink down and made his own Old Fashioned. He leaned forward on his elbows.

“So, what is this?” Kylo asked.

“Uh, I’m sorry?” Rey questioned, but she knew exactly what he meant.

“You and I. Why are you here? Hell, why did I invite you?” Kylo was leaning even more forward as he spoke.

Rey was stunned and couldn’t locate an answer, “I’m not sure. I want to get to know you.”

“Why?” Kylo pressed.

Rey shrugged, “I just do. There’s… something about you that intrigues me. I like mysterious.”

“I’m a mystery to solve then?” Kylo asked, but he didn’t appear to be offended. 

“I need a distraction,” Rey elaborated.

“From your ex that dumped you?” 

“And then some,” Rey sighed. 

Kylo stood up straighter and crossed his arms, the broadness of his shoulders even more apparent by that way he stood.

“I could use a little of that. Distractions, I mean. But you’ll never figure me out, if that is your goal,” Kylo smirked.

Rey was relieved for the gravity of the situation to lift a bit and replied playfully, “I’m a master at puzzles, at problem solving. You would be surprised.”

“I would be delighted to challenge you,” Kylo said.

“Then what are you proposing?” Rey asked.

Kylo tapped his chin and smiled devilishly in response, “Kylo Ren is not my real name. If you can discover it on your own using detective skills and wits, I will buy you an apartment like mine in this building.”

Rey almost fell off the stool. He hit her with a lot in a few sentences, and her survival brain and detective brain were fierce at work. How could she ever accept a deal like that? He wouldn’t offer if he couldn’t afford it. By the looks of this place, he could. Did he really make all that money from the bar? He had to be a part of Snoke’s drug operation to live like this. Her stomach churned, it could even get dangerous. Ben Solo and the Apartment A would have to take a backseat, and she was passionate about that too.

“What is in it for you?” Rey finally asked. 

“I’ve spent my whole life being shit to people. I want to do something nice for someone. And watching you figure this out would be entertaining, I believe.”

“How can you be so cavalier about offering something so… large?” 

“Maybe that’ll be a part of my secret,” Kylo wiggled his eyebrows like a young boy taunting the neighborhood girl he had a crush on.

“Okay, so lay down the official rules for me,” Rey said.

Kylo nodded, grabbed a piece of paper from under the bar along with a pen and began to write things down. He spoke as he wrote,

“Rule one: no Googling. You can go to the library and look stuff up and the old archives, but googling is too easy. I expect you like more of a challenge anyway.”

“Old school, I like it,” Rey said.

“Rule Two: Once you find out, you don’t go around yelling it to the world.”

“Fair,” Rey commented.

“And lastly, I want you to come over every week at this time to report what you’ve found. Like a progress report,” Kylo finished, drew two lines at the bottom of the paper and signed one.

“Is that just an excuse to get me two your apartment once a week?”

“Obviously,” Kylo pretended to scoff. He swiveled the paper to face Rey. “Deal?”

“Signed contract? Very official,” Rey laughed.

Kylo’s face dimmed, “The most official business I've done in a while.”

Rey was about to ask what he meant, but she knew she would find out in due time. 

“Deal,” Rey signed the bottom line and turned the paper back to Kylo. “Now, I’ve got to go and get started.”

“What? You just got here. I thought we could--”

“Save it for when I live across the hall,” Rey winked, “I will see you next week, Mr. Ren. If that even is your real name.”

Rey grabbed her coat and swished out of the apartment before he could stop her, leaving him itching for more and no doubt blue balled. This was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a little later than I usually post, but we have a snow day at work so I spent all day napping and playing video games. I've had so much fun writing this. Thank you for reading!


	5. Party of Four

Rey took Kaydel’s advice and slept on the couch that night once she got back from Kylo’s. She felt she had a worse night sleep before. She heard Maz up at all hours of the night, getting up to pee, getting a midnight snack, murmuring to herself--Chewie snored like a tank engine and Kaydel sang in her sleep. All of the sound filtered through the living room, so she had no problem rising that morning for her adventure with Kaydel and Chewie.

Chewie drove his hulking Jeep to the city university, a huge school with the stark juxtaposition of snotty senator's sons and scholarship kids. They drove around the campus until coming to a janitorial building. Chewie swung the large vehicle around the corner and parked in front of several industrial sized dumpsters.

“Dumpster diving?” Rey asked with skepticism. She was poor, but she had to uphold _some_ standards.

“This isn’t typical dumpster diving,” Kaydel began excitedly, “The rich kids who go here throw out perfectly adequate furniture all the time because Mommy and Daddy got them the newest addition, or what have you. All of this stuff is in incredible condition.”

“Tons of people around the borough furnish their whole damn house with this stuff,” Chewie added.

“How have I never known about this?” Rey said mostly to herself as she got out of the Jeep and got closer to the dumpsters.

A couch was sticking out of the top and it was leather, _real_ leather, without a rip or stain in sight. 

“I used to work here as a maintenance guy,” Chewie said, “before I left it behind for the bar life. Still the same amount of drunk people wandering around, believe it or not.”

The large bulk of the morning was spent hauling furniture into the jeep and rummaging through forgotten items. Rey scored an ornate dresser with a mirror vanity still attached, a king sized bed frame, (that she would have to shove two twins on since that was all they had) and a living chair that was stripped with black and white detail. Her favorite piece however was the desk-- solid oak with built in shelves on the top. It was weathered, with dents and nicks, but it was perfect. How could a college student throw this out without a second thought? It had to have been within a family for years, a lot of stories and projects created on this piece. It would serve perfectly for her mystery center of operations.

Once they got back to the apartment, they lugged all of the furniture into Rey’s room. Rey talked animatedly about where things could go and how marvelous things were starting to look.

“It’s good to see you excited, little Rey,” Chewie observed.  
Rey decided to ignore the ‘little Rey’ comment and said, “I don’t think I could ever repay you guys for how much you have helped me. I honestly don’t know what to say.”

“Just say thank you,” Chewie smiled. “Alright, we will leave you to it. We’ve got work in an hour.”

Kaydel and Chewie waved and went off to their own rooms.

Rey looked on proudly at what was before her, it was starting to look like a real home.

For work that day, Rey would be shadowing Chewie as barback, making sure everything was clean and prepped for Amilyn to operate the bar smoothly. Thursday night was busier than the night before by far, so Rey actually got to make some of the drinks she had practiced. 

There was a lull in service and Rey thought this would be a perfect time for her to talk to Chewie about The Dark Side. He clearly knew something regarding their repetition, enough to ask about it when he helped her move.

“Hey Chewie, can I ask you something?” Rey started.

“Shoot,” Chewie said.

“The Dark Side. What does it have the reputation it has?” Rey asked.

Chewie visibly stiffened and cleared his throat, seemingly to buy time to construct the best response.

“It’s uh, a shady place is all. Hey, can you clean a few more martini glasses? The single mom martini ladies are coming in soon and we gotta have those ready or they’ll throw a fit,” Chewie said.

Well, that went nowhere. The library on the campus was open 24 hours… some late night investigating after work sounded like the perfect ending to a pretty okay day. That was until her phone vibrated in her jean pocket and she took a peek.

_F: If you are ready to chat, I would like to. Rose and I still want to be your friend. If you still need more space, we understand._

Was he seriously with that bullshit? It had barely been two weeks. Yes, she still needed space. Yes, they better understand! But in her heart of hearts, she missed them. Since she got to America almost six years ago, they were always together. Rey never stopped to think if Rose ever felt like a third wheel, and since the shoe would be on the other foot if they were to ever hang out again, she felt weary. Rose really took it for the team when Rey and Finn got together. Rose didn’t run away and be a big baby about it. Then again, it wasn’t like Rose was with Finn first. 

_R: Let’s try dinner tomorrow. You’re paying._

It was the least they could do, Rey thought. Also, she didn’t have money anyway.

_F: That is great to hear, Rey. I can bring Poe along to make it easier._

_R: Sounds good._

This would be a necessary step for moving on, she thought. If she patched things up with the duo, there would be more room in her heart for a certain tall, big, mysterious, bad boy outsider and his dark past. Or, even an estranged son of her new landlord and boss, who lost his way and needed some direction. She would have to figure out who the hell these two were first.

Rey’s thoughts were interrupted by Chewie’s loud bellow, “Han!” The burly man practically jumped the counter and took the older man into a big bear hug. “I was wondering when you’d come out of your cave and say hello.”

“Chewie, I was flying every day for 13 hours during this expedition. I needed to catch up on the z’s,” Han laughed into his shoulder. 

“Expedition? You make yourself sound so important,” Chewie teased. “You rescue rich boy skiers from expensive ski mountains.”

Rey recognized him from the pictures, and his looks withstood. He was definitely older, with wrinkles and gray hair, but the confidence and swagger that was captured in each photo on the wall shone through.

Leia stood beside Han and beamed at the wholesome interaction between best friends.

“Oh, Han, let me introduce you to Rey, she is new to Rebel Scum. She is living in Luke’s old room,” Leia motioned over to Rey.

Coming out from behind the bar, Rey shook Han’s hand.

“No need to be formal, kid,” Han smiled. “Welcome to the family.”

Family. Rey felt like she was punched in the gut. Was this really what was happening here? She was becoming a part of a family? Rose and Finn had been her family, but they were her age, her friends-- but this, people who could be her parents, calling her family-- it was too much. Tears started to well up. Han clearly saw, but she turned away so embarrassed at her vulnerability.

“Back to work,” Rey murmured and got on washing those damn martini glasses. 

She heard hushed whispered between the three elders behind her, no doubt about her, but she blocked them out. This was one instance her curiosity wasn’t overwhelming. She didn’t want to know what they had to say about her.

\----------

Rey was quiet the rest of the night, and finished up her shift around 12:30am so she could catch a late night bus to campus.

The expansive library was deserted, just the way Rey liked it. It was a bright white building inside and out with modern curved shelves and private study nooks. It was no doubt expensive to put together, but it was open to locals as well. Rey found herself in the newspaper and magazine room to look through old articles about The Dark Side. It was danker than the rest of the building with floor to ceiling wooden filing cabinets of papers. The eeriness of the late hour and empty area made Rey all the more excited to solve a mystery. 

She knew that The Dark Side used to be called The Deathstar when Kylo’s grandfather owned it, so if she found his name, she could easily find him. No biggie. The paper would report a grand opening, but Rey didn’t know when that was. Perhaps an old librarian somewhere would be of more use than sorting through papers. A good detective conducted interviews, too.

As Rey was moving through the stacks to return to the main part of the building, Rey heard some odd moaning. Not sex moaning, if it was she would figure it two horny freshman sneaking around, but this was painful and pitiful. Rey instinctively followed the noise and found a tall, strawberry blonde woman crouched in a corner, whimpering. Her body limp and her wrists were turned up. Rey quickly noticed the tell-tale track marks on her arms.

“Are you okay?” Rey asked in a hush tone.

The woman opened her eyes slightly and nodded.

“Gotta let it take its course...I’ll feel amazing...soon,” the woman choked out.

Rey couldn’t just leave her there knowing she could overdose and die her while Rey skipped away like nothing.

“Should I call an ambulance?” Rey asked.

“No. Fine...soon,” she murmured. 

Instead, Rey sat down to ride it out with her and make sure she was okay.That was the thing about a 24 hour library, all sorts of people took refuge here. At least this woman wasn’t going through this alone on the streets at this hour.

“Talk to me,” the woman said. “Helps.”

Rey was searching for something to say. She could tell the woman anything, who would she tell? She probably wouldn’t even remember when she came back down.

“I’ve got a couple of guys in my life I’m juggling right now and I feel bad about it,” Rey started.

The woman let out an exhausted half-laugh. “Doesn’t sound so bad to me.”

“My boyfriend of four years dumped me for my best friend as soon as I got back from a year long trip. Then I met this sexy guy at a bar that I feel drawn to inexplicably and then there is this tale of an estranged son with secrets and sadness and they are all jumbled in my head,” Rey took a breath.

“Tale?” She asked.

“His name is Ben. He’s my landlord’s son. They are estranged and he’s like a ghost, no one will talk about him and all of his memory is locked away in an apartment. He’s like a fairytale. God, I sound like I’m in love with a damsel in distress trapped in a tower. It’s just-- I have this idea of him in my head I can’t let go of,” Rey confessed to the stranger.

“What if you… find… him?” The lady paused to cough. “Doesn’t live up to what you think in your mind? Dangerous.”

Rey laughed in spite of the situation she was in. “That is wise for someone who is freaked out on heroin.”

“Not heroin,” she sounded offended at the assertion, “Kyber Crystal.” Not that Rey was well versed in drugs, but she had never heard that one before. “New,” she continued. “Snoke.”

Snoke...the scary guy from The Dark Side. There was no denying drugs were involved in Kylo’s story at that point, this poor woman got them from Snoke. The guy who thought he played Kylo like a puppet.

“Do you know Kylo Ren?” Rey asked.

The woman smiled and Rey saw how chapped and peeling her lips were. “Bar guy?”

“Yes,” Rey confirmed.

“Handsome,” she agreed. “A little mixed up.” She tapped her head for emphasis. 

“Do you know his real name?” Rey pressed further.

“No. I’m Gwen Phasma,” the woman got out. She was right, slowly but surely she was coming to. “Call me Phasma.”

“Does Kylo sell drugs too?” Rey asked. 

“Nope, doesn’t mean he’s any less guilty. Let’s Snoke use his place for deals. Like a headquarters. I used to work there. Hux was my boyfriend. Got into Kyber Crystal and lost everything. But by God, feels good,” Phasma settled into her corner more. Her eyes were black and a smirk slivered onto her lips.

“You should get help,” Rey said finally. She needed to stop asking questions about some guy she had a crush on and focus on the crumbling woman in front of her.

“Maybe next time,” Phasma shrugged. “Who are you?”

Rey was startled by the rude phrasing of the question, but responded nonetheless, “I’m Rey.”

“I like you. Come to the bar with me,” she offered.

“The one you were fired from? To see Kylo? No way. I’m not allowed there anyway,” Rey said. She recalled how Kylo mercifully let her go last time without letting Snoke make him do what he wanted. Maybe there was time to get his out of the other man's clutches yet.

“It was on good terms. I’ll protect you.”

“Uh, that’s okay. I have some work to do here anyway,” Rey said.

“Fine,” Phasma was wobbly on her feet, but stood and started to shamble out of the room.

“Wait!” Rey called, “Do you know when The Dark Side was originally The Deathstar? When did it first open?” 

Phasma turned dramatically and thought for a moment. “May 25th 1977. May 25th is my birthday.”

With that, the woman left Rey, but left her with a big clue.

Rey retreated back to the stacks and found a newspaper dated then from the local chronicle. Her research skills allowed her to find it in record time. The article wasn’t front page, but somewhere among the pages no one read about. It was a short blurb, which talked about the opening, the vision of the owner… the owner. Kylo’s grandfather. If it was a paternal grandfather, at least the last name could give a clue. And the owner went by… Darth Vader. A pseudonym. Of course. Did anyone in this place have a real name? At least she had a starting place. 

The Death Star wasn’t opened long before it burned down, but it left quite the legacy if Kylo wanted to rebuild. Almost an hour Rey found an article about the fire, this time it was on the front page. The date was almost exactly six years after opening. The official cause of the fire was unknown, but the paper was not above speculating it was gang related-- revenge for some feud. Reportedly, Darth Vader died inside. He was so charred authorities had to use dental records to identify him.

It pained Rey to think Kylo had hopes of honoring his grandfather and instead it became a cesspool of drugs. Judging from the theories in the article, that may have been his grandfather’s legacy after all. She had a hunch figuring out his grandfather’s deal could lead her right to Kylo.

Rey checked her phone, it was almost 2:30am. She was beat but quite satisfied with what she had learned. She looked forward to another day of sleuthing tomorrow. 

Once she returned home, thanks to Chewie and Kaydel, she slept soundly for the first time in over a year.

\--------

The next morning, Rey woke up to read a text sent from Kylo after she had already gone to bed.

_K: Phasma came in claiming you know each other. Is that true?_

Why did he seem accusatory about it? Was he afraid Phasma knew too much to where she could find him out?

_R: We met at the library last night. I was doing some research ;)_

_K: Ah, I see. She mentioned you may have a crush on me? That true?_

His response came in seconds, he must have been awaiting her reply eagerly.

_R: Damn, didn’t think she would remember. You know, she told me some stuff about you too._

It honestly bothered Rey that he was involved with drugs, even if he technically didn’t sell or take them-- seeing what he allowed and facilitated in Phasma last night was troubling.

_K: And what was that? She doesn’t know my real name._

_R: Not that, Rumpelstiltskin. About the side business at The Dark Side._

Rey saw three little dots appear and reappear several times before Kylo finally sent something ten minutes later.

_K: It’s complicated. I’m not proud of it. I thought perhaps I had more time to come up with a response before you found out. I’m impressed by you. Anything else?_

_R: I’ll save that for our weekly meeting._

_K: I want to see you sooner._

_K: Please._

Rey got a sick thrill that she was ashamed of for making him as needy as he was. It was out of need to explain, not for actual _need_ she presumed. 

_K: Rey?_

She couldn’t help but think, was he afraid she wouldn’t talk to him anymore that she knew about his involvement with Snoke and the new drug Kyber Crystal? The right thing to do would be that, cut all ties with him and get her life in order the right way, but a lavish all paid for apartment was on the line, and she had a feeling there was more than met the eye. At least, she hoped there was.

_R: I have an awkward dinner with the ex boyfriend and ex best friend, but I can come over after. 10pm?_

_K: I’ll get off early so I can be there. Thank you._

_R: Remember to have my rum and coke ready._

_K: Always._

\--------  
Amilyn and Leia were very accommodating when Rey told them about her dinner with Finn, Rose and Poe. Leia even gushed about how kind Poe was for coming as well and to please tell him hi and to come around more often. 

They were meeting in a neutral place, a middle tier steak restaurant in a good part of town. Rey noticed it was only a few blocks away from Kylo’s apartment so she could scoot right over afterwards.

The reservation was for eight, so Rey came for 8:15 so she wouldn’t have to awkwardly sit and wait for them.

Finn and Rose sat in a back booth next to each other. They were whispering and giggling, the picturesque perfect honeymoon phase. Where the hell was Poe?

The hostess took her to their booth and she slid in. Rey was wearing a mid length body con black skirt and a sheer white button up with a lacy tank top underneath. It was mostly for Kylo, but it could serve a dual purpose of making Finn remember what he gave up.

“Where’s Poe?” Rey asked as soon as she settled into the booth.

“Late as always,” Finn chuckled awkwardly.

There was the other reason she was late, but clearly she hadn’t been late enough.

“We ordered you a Pinot Grigio,” Rose offered.

“Uh, thanks,” Rey said.

The silence was nauseating.

“Poe said he got you set up at Rebel Scum. How are you liking it?” Finn asked. 

That was a talent of Finn’s kindness, using it as a weapon and a band aid.

“Great, actually. My roommates are very helpful and welcoming. Work is rewarding,” Rey answered.

It wasn’t really rewarding, it was just _okay_ but they didn’t need to know that.

“I’m glad it’s working out,” Rose added with a careful smile.

Just then, Poe walked into the restaurant and was led to sit beside Rey. _Thank God._

“Sorry I’m late, guys and gals,” Poe said like it was nothing and they weren’t all counting on his presence. “Having fun at Rebel Scum, Rey?”

“A blast,” Rey mumbled and slouched in her seat. 

The waitress brought over their drinks and Rey took a hearty sip of her Pinot Grigio as soon as it hit the table. She promised to come back shortly to take dinner orders. 

Rey checked her phone to escape the awkward silence and saw a text from Kylo.

_K: I’m excited to see you. Got off early so I’m home whenever you want to come over._

Rey smiled at his boyish excitement to be with her. It was a puzzling contrast to his appearance and public persona.

“Funny meme?” Finn asked, searching for something to talk about.

The petty voice in Rey’s head said, _Make him jealous, make him jealous._

“A guy I’m kind of seeing,” Rey told him.

The whole table looked at her with wide cautious eyes.

“Oh? Is he hot?” Poe joked.

“Already?” Finn said.

Rey didn’t have a moment to filter her thoughts before she spoke-- directly from brain to mouth.

“Already? That’s rich coming from you. You hadn’t even dumped me before you were setting up for the next broad.”

“Hey!” What little anger Finn ever had in his reservoir bubbled up at Rey, “Don’t talk about Rose like that, she doesn’t deserve that. You abandoned me for a year! I had no way to even send a letter! What was I supposed to do?”

“Support me!” Rey shouted back.

People started to look and Poe hid behind his collar.

“Oh come on, Rey. We hadn’t been in love for a long time before you even left for Europe. That was your exit strategy so you didn’t have to be the bad guy. You never take responsibility for anything!” Finn was rising out of his chair slightly. 

Rose grabbed his arm to try to calm him down, “Finn, please understand that she is hurt, it’s okay.”

Rey was even angrier because it was all true and she hated that fact. She still acted like a child-- making up for lost time maybe? Either way, this dinner wasn’t working and she had a hot guy who was waiting for her in a lavish apartment that could give her the world.

“You know what, fuck this,” Rey snarled, not even waiting for Poe to get out of the booth, just crawling over him. “And I’m taking this wine.”

Rey leaned over and took the nearly full glass and stormed out. The waitress walked by and tried to tell her she couldn’t take alcoholic beverages outside, let alone steal their glassware, to which Rey responded; “Kiss my ass!”

On her way to Kylo’s apartment, she texted him that plans changed and she would be arriving a little earlier than expected. How else was that dinner supposed to go? Rey was naive to think they could ever be friends again. She didn’t need them. Hell, she didn’t even need Kylo, but she was pretty sure she wanted him, whoever he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are enjoying! Thank you for reading :)


	6. Open Heart, Open Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going away this weekend for my partner's b-day so I wanted to get this out one day early. It is a big one! Enjoy :)

The doorman greeted Rey, but quickly backed off once he saw the fire in her eyes and the Pinot Grigio in her hand. 

“I’ll buzz Mr. Ren,” the old man said. 

He hit a couple of buttons and Kylo appeared at the elevator like he was waiting on the other side this whole time. Once he spotted her state, he couldn’t help but give a wicked smile.

“I’m guessing dinner didn’t go well?” He taunted playfully.

“Terribly,” Rey gulped the rest of her wine before placing it on the doorman’s stand. “Shall we?”

“We shall,” Kylo offered his arm to her. 

They rode the elevator up to his floor and Rey took her heels off as soon as they made it past the threshold.

“Walking in heels sucks,” she supplied. “The restaurant wasn’t that far but it felt like six miles in these.”

“I could have picked you up,” Kylo offered. 

“I think that would have made things worse, honestly,” Rey chuckled at the thought, though.

Kylo in all his broad shouldered muscular glory in a dark sweater and slacks-- all three of them would’ve lost their heads.He disappeared into the living room and returned with her favorite drink. 

“Come, let’s sit and relax,” the words sounded like an attempted sly seduction, but his eyes were genuine. 

They went into the living room and Rey sank into the overstuffed gold detailed couch. She almost spilled her drink, she went so deep in. She caught the dribble at the last second. The couch easily cost more than her meager life.

Kylo sat on the opposite end of the couch like he was uncomfortable being too close. He was always bouncing back and forth from confident to weary-- almost like he was two people, two personalities. Then, she was with shy Kylo, so she would tread more carefully and delicately. 

There was an awkward silence between them. Rey thought this would be different, she would rush in a damsel in distress and collapse into the waiting arms of her brooding but considerate hero. He was all talk and no action-- maybe that was why he didn’t sell the drug at The Dark Side, just allowed it. Too much of a good boy to do the dirty work, but not good enough to stop it. Two halves of a person that couldn’t fit together to make a cohesive whole. 

“Poe Dameron was at the dinner too. You know, for a buffer,” Rey said, selfishly hoping to stir something in him-- even negative.

Kylo visibly stiffened, his back impossibly rigid against the plush couch.

“Ah. Surely very charming, correct?” Kylo said sharply like an accusation. There he was.

Rey tried to keep from smiling, “He’s alright. If you’re into that sort of thing. You know, for two guys who hate each other, he’s never mentioned you.”

“He doesn’t know me. I hate him for more complex, emotional reasons than he can comprehend,” Kylo explained.

“Sounds pretentious,” Rey chuckled. 

“He’s had something I’ve always wanted but he’s never known it,” Kylo divulged cryptically. Rey didn’t even realize he was holding scotch until he took a sip from it like a super villain plotting. All he needed was a white cat to stroke. 

“He’s not all that bad. He found me a place to live and work after the Finn and Rose thing,” Rey offered. “It’s this bar way across the borough. Rebel Scum.”

Kylo stood up abruptly and started laughing, full belly with no restraint, like he had gone mad.

“This must be some cosmic joke. You live and work at Rebel Scum? The bar?” Kylo choked out between laughs.

“Yes?” Rey replied incredulously. 

“I believed in fate before, but this… this is rich!” Kylo exasperated to the ceiling.

“What do you mean?” Rey was standing up to know, trying to meet his eyes that were still looking up toward the ceiling.

Kylo looked back down at her and said with a pregnant sigh, “You’ll figure it out in due time.”

His gaze was intense and penetrating, it almost hurt. His eyes were full of sorrow. Regret. Longing. Was it wrong to hope it was a longing for _her_?

“Why must you be so stubborn?” Rey whispered, their faces inching closer to one another, her words barely meaning anything against the heat of their stare.

“I like the way you scrunch your nose when your brain is vexed,” Kylo responded, his tone matching hers. “It’s beautiful.”

“You think I’m beautiful?” Rey sounded pitiful at that moment and she felt ashamed, despite the yearning for validation.

His words hardly brushed the air in front of them, “Yes.”

“Are you trying to interrupt my sleuthing thought process?”

“Yes,” he said again, before finally, _finally_ dipping down and pressing a feather light kiss to Rey’s lips. 

Her chest tightened, her face burned and thighs clenched-- the most vibrating soul-kiss she ever had and yet-- they scarcely touched. Rey and Kylo’s hands were both at their sides, the kind of touch-less kiss shared by childhood friends that held the promise of an eternity of chasing each other around the proverbial schoolyard. It was so gentle, it didn’t make sense coming from him.

She wanted more, but felt wrong to take it. Rey wanted Kylo to want more, too. They hovered there like that, lips close, breath intermingling and dancing an ancient dance of will-they, won’t-they.

After a few moments, Rey could not wait any longer and mustered a breathy, “Please.”

Kylo nodded languidly like that was all he was waiting for, and took her by the waist, pulling her in this time for a deeper, more thorough kiss. He was all lips, eager and excited, making her feel like he had been waiting for this moment for some time. 

Her hands instinctively went into his hair, so soft and long. She tugged a little at the roots, which made him moan in the least Kylo Ren way. It was husky, but unabashed and wanting. Right then, Rey decided she wanted to hear that for the rest of her life. That creeping thought gave her pause, and she pulled herself from their heated embrace.

Rey looked up at him, his eyes barely opened and lips parted in a delicious way. She wanted him-- but it was too fast. For all intents and purposes, she didn’t even know his name. He was involved with drugs and God knew what else because she sure as hell didn’t.

“Are you okay?” He asked, trying to be considerate rather than lustful, which his slightly heaving chest was giving away.

“I-- yes. I just… I’m not ready for… all that. Yet. I need to know more,” Rey choked out.

Was she a fucking idiot? This sexy, mysterious masterpiece of a man wanted her, _her_ out of all of the people in this world, and she was turning him down. 

Kylo sobered up a little from his needy haze, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

He paused for a long time, his mouth and eyes searching for more words. Rey waited patiently as he added, “I just-- wanted to feel close to someone. I haven't felt that in a very long time. We can just talk. And maybe I could hold you?”

His words were so pitiful and lonely and Rey felt so much at that moment. There was so much of herself in him. The difference was, she pushed people away, and no one would get near him. Her eyes watered with pain for him.

“Yes,” Rey said simply. 

Kylo took her hand and led her up the spiral staircase and down the hall to the master bedroom. If he was anyone else, she would think he was pushing her, trying to tap in her in a situation she said no to. But she knew, once they got in his room and laid on his bed, nothing she didn’t want to happen would.

Rey only briefly saw his room before he laid down on the bed and waited for her to join him. It was a California king, so big it even swallowed a large man like Kylo whole. She thought of him laying in this bed at night, restless and awake, lonely and becoming a part of the darkness.

She crawled in beside him and laid her back against this chest. He wrapped his entire body around her, his arms cradling her like a beloved, worn doll a child couldn’t fall asleep without.

A warm drop of water plopped onto her neck. Was he crying? If she hadn’t understood pain like this, lonely like this, she would run and claim he had too much emotional baggage, like most of the boys (not men) in her life before Finn. But she did, so she relaxed into his embrace.

“Are you happy?” Rey asked.

Kylo knew what she meant.

“I don’t remember what it feels like,” Kylo replied. “Maybe that makes it easier to not be.”

His breath was hot in her ear and the deepness of his voice reverberated through her.

“I want to make you happy,” Rey whispered, turning her head slightly to try and see his face, but she couldn’t crane her neck far enough.

“I’m afraid to be happy,” Kylo admitted.

“Why?”

“It will hurt more when it goes away, right?”

Rey licked her lips and considered his words, “What is that saying? It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?”

“Sounds like Lifetime movie gibberish,” Kylo said into her hair.

“It was a 19th century poet,” Rey corrected, only because she saw it scrolling through Rose’s pinterest after some random college guy had dumped her and she pinned a bunch of live-laugh-love-type inspiration quotes.

“Sounds like a clown.”

Rey could feel his lips curve into a smirk against her neck.

“Are you trying to deflect with humor?” Rey teased.

“I think I got that from my father,” Kylo said sleepily. 

“Who is?” Rey tried to coyly question. He was half asleep, maybe he’d slip.

“Nice try,” Kylo said.

It was the final thing from his lips as he fell asleep holding her. This wasn’t a comfortable sleeping arrangement, and there would be talk at Rebel Scum if she didn’t return home, but she couldn’t bear part from him. And how he opened his heart to her, if only briefly, enchanted her.

\-----

Rey awoke the next morning with a kink in her neck and an empty space beside her. It was Kylo’s house, it wasn’t like he could hump and dump. They didn’t even hump and he didn’t have anywhere to run. 

She felt a little walk-of-shame-y as she circled down the staircase in her outfit from the night before. There was rattling in the kitchen, as well as the smell of pancakes, so she followed her nose. The kitchen was smaller than she expected, but still full of all of the proper amenities. A huge industrial stove and oven, a large golden metal fridge, an island and tasteful breakfast nook with large bright windows.

“Is this the morning after treatment? If so, maybe I should have slept with you. I could have a 4 course breakfast,” Rey chided. 

Kylo shrugged, trying to come off humble, but his prideful smirk betrayed him. 

“I made mimosas,” Kylo said, pointing to two glasses on the breakfast nook table.

“Perfect. Real champagne from Champagne, France?” Rey teased, even though it didn’t really matter to her.

“Of course,” Kylo feigned hurt with a hand to his chest and a lightness in his voice.

“Must be nice to have money,” Rey snarked back, half kidding half actually jealous. She took a sip of her mimosa and damn, money did make things taste better.

Kylo sighed, “It has come at a price.”

“Snoke?” Rey supplied.

“Snoke,” Kylo confirmed.

“So all of this would be gone if you walked away and stopped your involvement in the whole thing?” Rey asked.

“Yes,” Kylo flipped a large pancake with the spatula, “Owning a legitimate bar doesn’t make this much money. And if I backed away, the bar would go with it. It wouldn’t be safe to continue running it and defy Snoke.”

“Safe?” Rey panicked, her brain already coming up with scenarios, all with Kylo ending seriously hurt or dead.

“Yes, Rey,” he said, surprisingly calm.

He brought over two plates of pancakes and sat across from her.

“Do you want to give it up? Go straight?” Rey asked.

Kylo took a bite of his pancake and chewed slowly to give him enough time to think.

“I’ve never had a reason to before,” Kylo said finally.

“And do you have one now?” Rey asked with childish hope.

Kylo looked up from his plate. “Maybe.”

They finished their breakfast and drinks in shy silence, stealing glances at each other and turning away blushing. 

Rey left around 9:30am, wanting enough time to shower before her shift. Kylo gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye and didn’t push further. 

It was on the subway ride home she confessed to herself she was falling desperately fast, blindly concocting a fairy tale of a dark sad prince who needed saving. She had thought the same of Ben when she was fantasizing about him, where he could be, who he had become. 

Thinking of Ben, Rey remembered that Kylo said he had a connection to Rebel Scum, too. Did it go beyond two bars vying for business? Did Kylo know Ben before he left? Or…? Rey frantically pulled out her phone and typed a message to Kylo.

_R: How old are you?_

Her heart pounded faster every second she watched the dots appear and reappear on her screen as he typed.

_K: Odd of you to ask now… but I’m 31. That’s not weird for you right? I know you’re a bit younger. I promise I’m immature._

Oh fuck, oh fuck. She felt like retching. How could she not see? She was the worst detective ever, and she fancied herself a good one with all of her novel readings.

Rey couldn’t bring herself to type back. She couldn't tell him until she knew for sure. It was far fetched. The two boys had been swirling together in her head for too long-- she was getting them confused. That had to be it. Next, she would think Finn was Ben Solo, too. 

Once the subway got off of her stop, she raced to Rebel Scum and ran through the kitchen where the kitchen preppers were working. 

“What the hell?” A big man bellowed as she cut passed him and stood face to face with Apartment A. 

She took a hair pin from her hair and began to jimmy the lock. Being an orphan gave you rather unbecoming traits and skills.

“Hey, you can’t go in there,” one of the other preppers said. “I’m gonna tell Leia.”

Rey didn’t care about being sneaky anymore, she had to see for herself. She would ask for forgiveness later.

The cheap lock gave way and she pushed the door open, catching herself before she fell into the apartment. It almost looked like a mirror of the one upstairs, but much more bare. She skidded down the hall and went into the largest bedroom, probably where Ben’s was. Its upstairs version held Chewie. 

Amilyn was right, it was like a shrine. Bed was made, memorabilia from childhood and pictures were still hung up and sitting on shelves collecting dust. She spotted a large family photo on the bedside table. Rey paused before moving closer to inspect it. Was she ready to know the truth? Would it change everything if the guy she was falling for was Ben Solo?

Her feet moved without her permission and carried her to the nightstand. A young adult of maybe 20 stood in between two kind and beautiful parents. The dark hair, long nose and plush lips-- lips she’d _kissed_ \-- it was him without a doubt. It was Kylo. It was _Ben._


	7. The Boy from Apartment A

Rey sat down on the bed and had to collect herself before she could process anything. She clutched the picture frame in her hands, her eyes tracing every curve of his smile, how his eyes crinkled at the corners, every stray hair refusing to cooperate. 

Was she overreacting to Kylo Ren being Ben Solo? Did it really matter in the grand scheme of things? She wanted to convince herself it didn’t matter, but it did. This was the _real_ Ben Solo, not that one she conducted in her mind from errant baby pictures and musings of a handsome stranger with a lost, golden heart.

More importantly, would Leia kick her out if she found her here, found out her relationship to him? Ben’s story was complicated, Kylo’s story was complicated, but _together;_ was she ready to handle all of that? Especially when she could barely handle herself?

Leia’s footsteps were soft against the beige carpet. Rey didn’t hear her come in. 

“I’m very upset that you are in here,” Leia said to Rey.

It was not a fervent anger, but a profound disappointment that stung so much more. She would take all of those large, grumbling, angry foster dads she had over the resolute frown of Leia Organa-Solo.

“I-- I had no right. I know that. I just-- I met someone. And, I needed to figure out--” Rey sighed, how could she possibly explain this? 

Leia sat beside Rey and gently took the frame from her. She looked longingly at it before resolving to place it beside her.

“You met his Kylo character,” Leia said, using air quotes around ‘Kylo.’

Rey looked up at her. “So you know? About The Dark Side and what he does?”

“Yes. My grandfather did the very same and it killed him. Not that I gave a damn,” Leia explained with prideful harshness. Her father was the one person she never felt deserved the kindness of others that she so lovingly gave to her friends and customers. “He was an awful man. Treated my brother and I terribly. He was abusive in every sense of the word. Physical, emotional. He loved our mother so much, but she died during childbirth when Luke and I were born. I think he subconsciously blamed us for her death. As for Ben, what I thought was morbid curiosity of our family’s history became an obsession.”

Leia paused to wipe an escaping tear from her weather worn cheek. She grabbed Rey’s hand and cradled it in hers. Rey thought it was more to comfort herself than Rey.

“Once I found out that he was reaching out to old connection of my father’s, not long after that photo was taken-- Han and I were furious. My brother was Luke as well. All three of us lashed out at him, ganged up on him. I’m not proud of how we treated him. It was like--” Leia paused and couldn’t bring herself to say it without another tear, “--like _him._ It just pushed Ben further onto the path of darkness. He upped and left in the middle of the night and bought the land the Death Star was on for cheap.He rebuilt it with the help of this Snoke guy that my father knew. Even changed his name so we couldn’t find him, but it didn’t take a long to figure out where he was. We’ve reached out, tried to apologize, but with no luck. I just want my boy back.”

Leia was full on crying after revealing her story. Rey, not huge on affection or very familiar with it, gave her a hug and held her for a while longer than Rey would have liked; but too short to truly give Leia the comfort she needed.

“Please tell me,” Leia begged, “How is my boy?” 

Rey looked at her feet, still wearing those damn heels from the night before, now with her toe nail polished a bit chipped.

“He’s lonely,” Rey said honestly. “I don’t think he wants this anymore, but too afraid of what would happen if he gave up his operation with Snoke.”

“There is still good in him?” Leia asked hopefully, her bright eyes like that of a child rather than a composed, strong willed woman.

“Definitely,” Rey assured her with another hug. She could get used to that. “I want to help. I-- we’ve gotten closer.”

Leia couldn’t hide her knowing smirk and Rey couldn’t hide her spreading blush.

“I see,” Leia commented.

“We had a game going if I figured out who he really was. I think he’s trying to ask for help without outright saying it,” Rey hypothesized, ideas and theories shifting into place in her head.

“He is stubborn like me,” Leia said. “But if you really want to, help him get out of that place that is, be careful. This is dangerous stuff. My father died in the drug business. I can’t ask you to do this.”

“I want to,” Rey replied without hesitation. 

“When you see him again, please ask if he will talk to me. Or Han. Hell, even his Uncle Chewie,” Leia asked.

No wonder Chewie was asking about the bar when she moved out, he was worried about his best friend’s son. 

“I will,” Rey confirmed.

Leia stood up and looked around. She placed the frame back on the nightstand and brushed Ben’s face with the tips of her fingers. . 

“Poe had no idea what he was doing when he brought you here. He had no idea he was bringing a woman into my life that could bring back my son,” Leia spoke softly, almost to herself.

Rey contemplated asking why Ben would hate Poe so much, but that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Leia was putting a lot of stock in her to bring reason to Ben, Rey didn’t want to fuck it up.

Leia started to tear up again, and Rey realized how private this place was for Leia, how her intrusion was tainting her sweet memories of Ben.

“I’m going to get upstairs and get ready for work,” Rey said as she made way for the door.

Leia just absently nodded and ghosted around the room, lightly touching things and murmuring to herself.

After a long shower, Rey sat on her bed in her towel deciding how to text Kylo-- er, Ben. She wondered what he would really prefer. A call seemed to be random, they didn’t talk on the phone. She didn’t have time to visit before her shift-- not like she could just prance into his place uninvited anyway. A text would be simple and to the point, give him time to ruminate on her victory and her time to formulate a plan. In the back of her mind, her survival brain reminded her that he promised to buy her an expensive beautiful apartment once she figured him out, but she scolded herself for the thought. This shouldn’t be about fancy staircases and master bedrooms with an en suite. This was his _life._

_R: Nice to meet you, Ben Solo._

Rey deleted it before hitting send, that’s not the way she should do it.

_R: Your mom misses you._

Yuck, Kylo would surely stop talking to her if she already was nagging him. He opened up to her completely yesterday, she didn’t want to jeopardize that. Maybe it was best to say nothing at all. Not until she saw him once she thought of the right thing to do. Then she could hold him as he cried about a family he lost and a love he never felt. 

Hopefully work would pass by quickly, but it surely did not. Rey started to bartend alongside Amilyn when things got busy, but she was still slow and unpracticed, it made her feel like a nuisance more than anything. 

Adding to injury, Rey felt her phone vibrating on and off all night. A quick glance proved countless calls and texts from Kylo, but Rey didn’t know what to say yet. She ignored it and kept along with her work, becoming more prideful of it with each happy customer walking away and coming back for a second drink. 

About two hours before closing, a walking scowl with red hair and intense eyes walked into the bar. Rey stiffened and stood up straighter as he approached her. Hux had no business being here. She hadn’t gone to The Dark Side as Ben instructed. What could sour puss have to complain about? 

“You,” he said, pointing at Rey with a firm, black gloved finger. 

Chewie went from cleaning glasses to in front of Rey in seconds, putting a large impenetrable force between them. 

“We have a problem?” Chewie’s voice was firm with warning. 

Hux’s confidence waned abruptly. He cleared his throat. 

“I need to speak to Rey,” Hux said, adding mercifully, “Please?” 

Chewie looked back at Rey, searching for confirmation it was okay. Rey felt warmth and courage from Chewie looking out for her, taking care of her-- so she nodded her consent. She would have followed Hux anyway, the need to know why he was here overruled sound judgement. 

“Holler if you need me,” Chewie whispered to Rey before giving Hux a pointed look and returning to the other side of the bar. 

Rey came around the counters and walked behind Hux, whose obnoxiously long and expensive coat kept flying behind him like an anime character and tripping her. 

Hux went outside and leaned against the brick wall like he was the coolest kid in school making you an offer you couldn’t refuse, but really, he was just selling off brand chewing gum at recess. 

“Kylo doesn’t know I’m here,” Hux began, “but he is going off the fucking deep end.” 

Rey’s scalp prickled with worry. 

“He’s yelling at us more than usual, throwing shit, even mouthed off to Snoke,” Hux explained. “All because you won’t text him back. So, please, call him. Text him. Anything. Put us out of this misery before he does something really stupid. I’ve never seen him like this over a girl. The IRS maybe, but never a girl.” 

Rey would be lying if she didn’t feel flattered by Ben’s reaction, but a little scared all the same. He was losing his mind because she didn’t text him back? It was over the top, too much. Did she really know what she was getting into when she told Leia she could save him from himself? 

“Uh, that’s-- sorry,” Rey didn’t know how to respond, and her hesitation showed. “I was at work.” 

Hux sighed dramatically, “Couldn’t have just said that? It’s not about you here. It’s about me. I’m taking you to The Dark Side now.” 

“I’m working,” Rey protested when Hux tugged her arm. 

“It’ll take a minute,” Hux grumbled and took her to his shiny black sports car. A bartender shouldn’t afford that. Hux must be in the drug business too. 

“I’m not getting into a car with you,” Rey dug her heels into the pavement. 

“Why are you two so dramatic? God, you’re perfect for each other,” Hux groaned and opened the car door for Rey. Such a kind gesture from a serious wanker. 

Rey stayed rooted to her spot. “How much do you know about us?” 

“We hate each other, but we are still,” Hux paused to suppress a shudder, “friends. I know all about it.” 

Hux rolled his eyes when Rey didn’t move. He treated any human interaction as a huge chore. 

“I have to tell the others,” Rey said, feeling guilty and possibly creating herself a window to runaway from this creep and from seeing Ben after she found out the truth. She will see him, but she needed time. Maybe time to gather more intel from Leia or Han-- even from Chewie. 

“Send them a text or something. Time’s a-ticking. Literally. That brute of a man is a ticking time bomb,” Hux insisted again. 

Rey took a page from Hux’s manual and sighed audibly like a child being told no. “Fine.” 

No use in fighting. She didn’t want Ben to be distressed in any way. Perhaps it was selfish not to send him a text, just to be decent. Either way, Operation Save Kylo Ren/Ben Solo was a go whether Rey was ready or not. 


	8. Fight With Me

It was official, Hux had terrible taste in music. He was listening to a playlist, clearly self-created, titled “Get Groovy Huxy.” It was an eclectic mix of 70’s love ballads, kpop and off brand electronica from Iceland. The ride was only another few minutes, but Rey’s sanity couldn’t bear it any longer.

“Can we perhaps listen to something else? What the hell is this anyway?” Rey asked, fidgeting with the edge of her shirt. Her nerves were peaking as they got closer to The Dark Side.

“It’s music. It’s good music,” Hux replied sharply with a hint of defensiveness.

“Yeah, right,” Rey laughed and picked up his phone that was connected to the aux cord. “Let’s get some real music up in here.”

Rey scrolled through the playlist that could appease both of their tastes when she saw the author, gphasma46. Gwen Phasma, probably. Hux’s ex and the woman she helped through her high in the library. Rey’s playfully taunting smile faded.

“I met Phasma, you know,” Rey told Hux.

Hux swallowed hard, “What are you talking about?”

“She mentioned you. You still love her don’t you? Then why did you let her get into drugs? The drugs _you_ help peddle?” Rey’s voice was louder, fiercer. 

Did Hux ever see what Rey had seen that night, and just let her go without helping her? Break up with her because that was the easy way instead of being by her side when it was his fault she got mixed up in drugs?

“It’s none of your business what happened between us. You’re too nosy for your own good and one day it’s going to cost you,” Hux muttered.

“Is that a threat?” Rey pressed. She wasn’t scared--more pissed.

“A warning,” Hux clarified cautiously. 

Rey huffed and sunk into the comfy leather. Goddammit, she wished it wasn’t this comfortable. 

Hux pulled into a parallel spot on the street across from the bar. He paused before getting out. Rey reached for the door handle.

“Wait,” Hux said. Rey turned to look at him, but he didn’t return her gaze. “I know what happened with Phasma is my fault. I live with that every day. I haven’t taken it lightly. I want you to know that.”

“Then why don’t you fix it?” Rey asked softly, taking a different approach than her previous accusation.

“Something like this is beyond repair,” Hux replied sadly. “Now go in and talk to him. Please.”

Rey sensed he wanted to change the subject and straightened up. “I have a feeling you have said please more tonight than you ever have in your life.”

“You’re right. And it has been very painful. Now leave me alone so I can be in my own despair,” Hux joked darkly.

Rey nodded and ran across the street to The Dark Side. Ben had told her to never return, but she figured if Hux brought her here, and considering he wanted to see her so bad, he would make this exception.

“Are you coming in?” Rey asked Hux.

He shook his head wearily, “I’ve had enough of his attitude today.”

Rey took a deep, cleansing breath and exited the car, crossing the street to The Dark Side. Looking both ways first, of course. She almost knocked on the pub door, like she was a campaign worker going door to door. That was how unwelcome she felt in his bar, and judging by what Hux said about his behavior, how unwelcome she felt by Ben, too.

Instead, she steeled herself and rushed in, door swinging harsher than she meant to and garnering unwanted attention from all the patrons. Rey first spotted Snoke, looming from a corner at a small cafe table smoking a cigar. Most of his face was plumbed in smoke, but she could tell it was him by his staring, unnaturally golden eyes. 

Ben was the next to catch her attention. He was behind the bar tending to a pair of elderly men, sliding them a Coors Light each. He narrowed his eyes at her, but there was a hint of glittery relief that both warmed and frightened her. 

He jerked his head back to meet in the alley where he had first told her to never come back here.

Once she went out the door to meet him, she heard a grumbly cough from Snoke that chilled her. It seemed more than an innocent cough from a smoking old man, but a covert warning to watch herself or she’ll be the one coughing next time. Coughing on her own blood.

Rey’s unease melted away when she was greeted with a wide, goofy grin from Ben in the alley. No matter how deep he went into the darkness, he could never be like Snoke. He still had the light of Leia and Han in him.

“You shouldn’t be here, but I’m glad you’re here,” Ben admitted. “I was scared when I told you how old I was, you were freaked out or something. Then _I_ started to freak out. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time and I didn’t want to lose you. I'm sorry. I’m such a loser, I’m so clingy---”

Rey thought it cliche, but she silenced Ben’s insecurity with a deep kiss that sent Ben’s hands flying to her hips. She pulled away reluctantly and smiled.

“It wasn’t right that I ignored you. It’s not that you’re older than me. It’s that I figured it out. Who you are,” Rey said cautiously. 

Honestly, Rey was a little taken aback by his neediness, something Finn definitely never exhibited, but it’s because love was so foreign and strange to him. He was scared of losing her, losing a taste of something he longed for. That was something Rey could understand, even relate to.

 _Is this what is going on here?_ Rey thought, _Love?_

Ben backed up from her when she spoke, but didn’t not retreat completely. 

“You’re incredible,” he relented, “very smart.”

Rey smirked with pride, “Well, I felt dumb once I figured it out. The pieces have been right in front of me the whole time.”

“I want to hear you say it. To make sure,” Ben said.

Stepping closer once more, Rey got on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “Ben Solo.”

Rey settled back on her feet to watch his reaction. He kept a stern poker face.

“I guess I should start signing paperwork to get you moved into my building then,” Ben said sharply.

“Oh, Ben, I don’t care about that,” Rey sighed, because she still kind of did, “I want to help you get out of this horrible situation.”

Ben chuckled sardonically, “You’re going to start calling me Ben now?”

“I mean, that is your name. If you’re okay with it.”

He paused, “Not yet.”

“I went into your old apartment. Leia and Han keep it like a shrine for you, wishing you’d come home. They miss you,” Rey explained.

Quickly, Ben’s disposition changed from curious and impressed, to straight up fucking pissed.

“You dragged my mother into this?” Ben scowled.

“It’s not like that! She caught me in your room. She regrets the way she treated you. Just listen to her,” Rey began to plead, seeing on his face he was not taking any bait.

Ben crossed his toned arms, briefly distracting Rey from the task at hand, the way they protruded perfect from his black t-shirt; but she quickly chided herself and looked back up at his grimace.

“Christ, I can’t have one happy moment before all my family shit comes back to haunt me,” Ben said more to himself than Rey.

“It’s not just Leia and Han. I don’t want you to be in this either. I want you safe, I want you happy, I want you out of trouble ....” Rey trailed off, sweat gathering on her brow, her heart thudding in her rib cage; “I want you.”

Ben’s scowl softened then, but only for a moment. He let his arms down and squared his shoulders and widened his looming stance.

“Did my mother put you up to this?” Ben demanded. 

Rey stared dumbly. What couldn’t he understand of what she was telling him?

“Put me up to this?”

“Was this some elaborate plan to get me to trust you, and care for you, to lure me back to my family?” Ben’s eyes were brimming with angry, exhausted tears.

It was Rey’s turn to be angry. She tightened her hands into tiny but intimating fists.

“Are you kidding? You don’t think what I feel for you is real?” Rey reached for his hands and cradled them in hers, though her fingertips didn’t reach anything but palm. “Ben, I---”

Ben wretched his hands away and grabbed for the door back into the bar.

“Please, listen to me,” Rey hated how pathetic her voice sounded as she groveled for Ben to come back and just fucking listen.

“I was stupid to think this was becoming something,” Ben grumbled sadly before slamming the door. 

On instinct, Rey rushed to the door after him, Snoke’s predatory stare be damned; weaving through the boxes of liquor and maze of junk behind the bar. Ben didn’t even notice she followed him until she tapped his shoulder with a pointed poke.

He whipped around with knitted brows and his perpetual frown she hadn’t seen in awhile.

“You can’t be back here, Rey, Jesus Christ,” Ben huffed.

Rey’s eyes glanced passed Ben to see Snoke watching.

“Get over yourself and accept that I care about you for you. Not because of your family, or to be your savior, but because you are witty and shy and endearing and special. Please,” Rey stopped herself from calling him Ben again. “Let me help you.”

Ben shifted his weight uncomfortably. He was thinking, Rey could tell by the twitch of his mouth and eyes darting around, looking anywhere but at her.

“I don’t know if I can accept that,” Ben said, defeated.

Rey lifted her hand to his face and held his strong jaw.

“I can wait. I can keep on caring for you until you’re ready to accept it,” Rey smiled softly. She felt Ben lean ever so slightly into her touch.

Ben tried to keep himself stern, "No, don't.” He grabbed her wrist and put it back at her side.

His wild eyes shifted behind him where Snoke was seated, onto a second cigar already. He was trying to tell her something without words.

Getting the hint, Rey nodded and kissed his cheek to disguise a whisper, “I can meet you at your place when you’re done.”

He didn’t dare move his head to nod, but stood there like crumbling stone.

“Goodbye, Rey,” he said, like it was the final.

“Goodbye,” Rey matched his tone for onlookers’ benefit.

She went back out through the alley way and saw Hux leaning against this car waiting to take her back to Rebel Scum.

“Fixed?” Hux asked, walking around to get in on the driver’s side.

“Getting there,” Rey said. “I think he was afraid of Snoke over hearing.”

“Everyone is afraid of Snoke,” Hux mumbled.

“See, I just don’t get that. Kylo owns the place,” Rey said, making sure to refer to him as Kylo in front of Hux.

“Kylo owns it in name, but Snoke calls the shots,” Hux explained. “I’m sure Kylo has told you this.”

“Yes, but I can’t wrap my head around it. The gangster's lifestyle, I guess.”

Hux gave a loud, high pitched laugh, “Gangsters? Please. Snoke thinks of himself as a dedicated business man.”

“He sure sounds like one,” Rey grumbled.

“They are one in the same sometimes, don’t you think?” Hux said. 

The pulled up to Rebel Scum and Hux slammed on the brakes right in front of the door, causing Rey to rock in her seat.

“Hey!” Rey shouted.

“I don’t want to be in this pisshole too long. Get out,” Hux ordered.

“Well, thanks for the ride, I guess,” Rey said.

“Whatever,” he said and revved the engine.

“Okay, okay, I’m leaving,” Rey got out of the car and Hux drove away before she got a chance to close the door. She saw him lean over and close it himself when he got on the road.

“Drama queen,” Rey mumbled under her breath.

Once Rey reopened the door to the bar, Leia rushed to her side immediately.

“You went to see him? Who is that red headed guy? Is he safe?” Leia asked fervently and linked their arms together.

Chewie must have told her the situation when Rey left because she wasn’t even around when Hux came. Or, she had a sixth sense when it came to her son.

“I did, Hux works with him, and Ben is safe,” Rey confirmed. 

_For now,_ Rey thought. It was only a matter of time before his lifestyle and Snoke’s thumb squashed him. The way Snoke looked at her, and the two of them behind the bar, she could tell she wasn’t in good favor with the man. Rey couldn’t suss out how much he knew, if Snoke knew Ben wanted out and Rey intended to help him. They needed to tread lightly. Barging in the bar probably wasn’t a good idea, but it got them talking.

“What was it all about, dear?” Leia pressed.

As grateful as Rey was for everything, she didn’t want to divulge their relationship secrets. That she sucked at communicating and Ben was afraid of love.

“Some interpersonal stuff. But I think we’ve got it sorted,” Rey said instead. “I was going over to his place tonight to talk more.”

“Oh, please, take me with you. If I come with you maybe he’d listen--” Leia began in desperation.

Rey stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t think he’s there yet, but I will let you know,” Rey assured her.

Leia nodded. “You’re right, you’re right.”

Wanting to leave the awkward conversation, “I will just finish up my shift and go to him.”

“Yes, yes, very good,” Leia said absently, her mind already drifting to something else. 

She floated away, greeting her patrons as she went out back.

The rest of the Rebel Scum shift was uneventful, being a Tuesday and all, which Rey was thankful for. All she could think about was Ben and Snoke and the whole mess. When she wasn’t thinking of that, she was thinking of kissing Ben again, sleeping alongside him for another night. Should she pack a bag?

Rey opted for going to her room and packing a toothbrush and extra pair of underwear in her usual purse before taking transit to his place. 

\----

No longer phased by her presence, the doorman at Ben’s building buzzed him when Rey arrived. 

Ben popped out of the elevator and ushered inside it wordlessly. Were they not okay as she thought they were? She thought the standoffish nature at the end of their fight was for show?

The elevator doors closed and Rey said, “Are we okay?”

Ben didn’t look down at her, but a dubious smirk adorned his face.

They got to his floor and let himself and Rey in. Once they passed the threshold, Ben took her by the waist and crushed their lips together so passionately it hurt.

He pulled away and Rey murmured in a daze, “wha…?”

“I wanted to make sure Snoke wasn’t watching. We are safe here,” Ben said breathlessly before diving in for another crushing kiss.

Rey backed up to get more information, “so the whole fight was faked?” 

Ben looked down shyly, “Not all of it. Outside the bar it wasn’t. But you followed me. You told me you cared no matter what. I’ve never had an unconditional relationship of any kind like that. With family they loved me as long as I did what they said, Snoke and Hux were my friends as long as I did what they said, but you; you care about me for me.”

His smile was so childish and full of hope that Rey just had to kiss it.

“I do,” Rey confirmed.

“If you’d let me, I’d like to have a chance to express my care for you too,” Ben said awkwardly. 

He started twisting his hands and looking down. Rey smirked slyly and drew circles on his chest with her fingertips.

“And what did you have in mind?” Rey teased.

“Come up stairs with me?” Ben offered timidly.

Rey nodded and took Ben’s outstretched hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can probably guess what next chapter will contain ;) I'll keep the smut contained in one chapter so if that's not your thing, you can skip the chapter and the story will pick up in the next one. Thank you for reading!


	9. Prom Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut has arrived! I hope you enjoy ;) Warning: SUPER fluffy. Couldn't help myself <3

It was surreal for Rey to be guided up stairs to a lavish master bedroom by a handsome complex man who had every intention of sleeping with her. Either she was walking into a fairy tale, or getting mixed up in a nightmare. Whatever the conclusion, Rey knew this moment was meant to be. It was always a chapter in her book of life, always a pit stop on her road map. Being with Ben like this; it was fate. In some twisted way, losing Finn, being taken in by Leia and the crew was an elaborate, cosmic grand plan to get Rey with Ben and Ben with Rey.

Ben took her to the edge of the bed and embraced her fully with a kiss on top of her head.

“I’m scared,” he whispered quietly.

“We don’t have to do this,” Rey said, but she didn’t work to pull away.

“I want to. It’s not that kind of scared. I’m scared of how much this means to me. I feel like a teenage boy about to lose my virginity to my high school sweetheart on prom night,” Ben chuckled.

Rey looked up and smirked, “Are you a virgin?”

“I said like!” Ben insisted with a blush and a chuckle. “Admittedly, it’s been a while.”

It was Rey’s turn to blush. She grabbed Ben’s hands in her own and looked down at their contrast, small and soft, big and calloused; but on the inside they weren’t that much different. Both from homes that couldn’t give love like they should have.

“Me too. Not since before I went to Europe,” Rey said.

“Finn?” Ben pressed.

“Well, yeah. He was my boyfriend,” Rey was starting to get agitated. “He’s the only person I’ve been with.”

“I see,” Ben said in a tone Rey couldn’t figure out. “So when I suck you probably won’t know.”

Rey slapped his arm in jest and pursed her lips. “It’s not about that,” she said softly, looking at her feet.

Ben put a hooked finger under her chin and pulled her head up to look in his eyes. The gesture was so tender Rey could cry. He leaned in and kissed her lightly. Within moments, Rey’s carnal need overpowered her tenderness and she got on her tiptoes and pulled Ben by the neck for a deeper kiss.

Clutching Rey by the hips, Ben pulled her into him even closer so she could feel his growing desire against her stomach. The realization that she was doing _that_ to him vibrated through her whole being inside and out. She let out an unadulterated, wanton moan.

Ben grabbed Rey to fall back on to the bed with him. Rey laughed freely in his ear, and he started kissing and tickling any part of her he could reach. She was in absolute uproar until he stilled his movements and pulled at the bottom of her shirt to raise the garment over her head. Ben immediately went to kissing the swell of her breasts before reaching to unhook her t-shirt bra in the front.

“They’re small. Not much to look at,” she warned shyly.

Ben slipped the bra out from under her and admired her chest with wandering hands and eyes.

“Nope, perfect,” he murmured, going in for her nipples, alternating between flicking them lightly with his tongue and suckling with his big lips.

“Fuck,” Rey breathed out. “Let me, I can--” she tried to get out more, he was doing all the work and it wasn’t fair to him, but she was too lost in the sensations to finish her thought. All hope of focusing was lost when he started to tease the waistband of her jeans with a ghosting finger. A shudder stuttered through Rey. 

Ben didn’t tease for much more than that; he had been waiting for this for far too long. In reality, there was still much to learn about one another, only a month under their belt; but this was _right._ The first thing that felt right in a long time. Making Rey happy and feel the pleasure she deserved was something he got to look forward to then and for an eternity to come.

He pulled the silver button apart with two fingers and eased her zipper down. His heart beat felt like it couldn’t finish a full beat-- it was fluttering so fast. The sight of his large hand gliding behind Rey’s jeans and thin underwear made him swallow hard. He felt the strip of curls above her clit and combed them lazily, never getting where she craved him to be.

“You know what I need,” Rey told him with shallow breath. It was more of a demand than a beg, which just wouldn’t do for Ben. To know this was right, to know this was real; he had to be sure she was as desperate for him as he was for her.

“Do I?” Ben asked with an arrogant smirk. 

Rey nodded with a stubborn jerk. Ben could see the sweat of anticipation gathering on her brow. He relented just a little, inching his fingers to her clit and rubbing languid circles. He bent to kiss her as he did so, but Rey stopped him.

“Harder,” Rey squeaked out.

Ben grinned and did as he was told, earning a very _un-Rey_ squeaky whine. He hummed with pride, moving the finger playing on her clit to tease her center. He brought his other hand to continue with her nub, but only for the moment-- he had other plans to implement soon. 

He had never felt excited to go down on a woman, but with Rey; he wanted to know every corner, every inch. His mouth was practically watering. He wanted all his senses engulfed in her Rey-ness.

Dipping into her core, he started with one thick finger. She felt smooth and soft like velvet inside, too delicate to be real. He could feel her walls stretch for him with even one finger. He withdrew it and renterted slowly, dragging every hard edge and callus on his finger against the sensitive flesh.

Rey squirmed away, much to Ben’s displeasure, and wiggled out of her tight jeans, sliding her underwear off with it. She reached for Ben and clawed at his shirt frantically to take it off. He knew he was built like a fridge, and it often made him feel self conscious. He felt he was too boxy and solid, not built like a triangle like the body builders and internet guys. But Rey’s reaction when she finally managed to pull the shirt off, it saded his deepest insecurities for the moment.

“Fuck,” Rey commented. “How have I gone this long without seeing you shirtless? You should be like one of those comic book guys in a Marvel movie who just lives their lives shirtless.”

“They’re called superheroes, Rey,” Ben chuckled.

“Whatever,” Rey murmured, not listening to a word. 

At that moment, she was all visual. She leaned forward and trailed kisses from his angular collar bones to his broad, expansive chest, massaging her thumbs along his sides all the while. Ben was feeling ticklish, but he fought the urge to laugh, wanting to soak in the feeling of having someone gently take care of him and dote on him. 

“I like your chest,” Rey said in between kisses.

“I can tell, you have a mouth full of it,” Ben smiled, looking down at her, stroking her hair sweetly while she continued to pepper him with kisses. Rey bent down and was inching lower, starting to undo his black belt.

“Wait,” Ben said. “I want to do something for you first. I want to taste you.”

Rey bit her lip when he said that. She obliged silently, laying on her back with her knees up. “Is it bad I got so wet just hearing you say that.”

Ben gave a wolfish smirk. He got down on his stomach and grabbed the back of Rey’s knees to pull her closer. He spread her open slowly, like a personal unveiling of her sex for his eyes only.

“Shit, Rey. You’re stunning,” Ben said. 

He brought his thumb to her clit and lifted the hood to expose her fully to the chiling air. He could see her sex clench in response and his cock responded in kind. It was physically painfully how tight his pants were getting-- how tight his chest was too. He was breathless in her presence.

Putting his lips over her clit and sucked it in her mouth, he toyed with the nerve with his pointed tongue. While his lips worked, he brought his finger back to her entrance and pushed in, the harmonic noise of her wetness taking him in was intoxicating. Being between her legs gave him a stadium show of sight, sound, touch and taste starring Rey.

The more Ben licked and nibbled at her clit, he could feel Rey peaking by the tensing of her body and her hands gripping harshly at his hair. 

Ben looked up at her with a glistening mouth and hooded eyes, “I want to try something I’ve never done before. I may not be good at it. But I want everything with you.”

Rey would’ve said yes to anything when he asked, as long as he could make her cum. She was so close to the edge her vision was clouding. She nodded to Ben, who anxiously scooch-ed down further on his stomach to reach her core and licked at her hole, a little experimental at first, but once he got a taste-- he wondered why he was never confident in it before. He let his desire be his guide, putting his entire face against her pussy and sticking his tongue as far as it would go inside her. He squirmed and licked inside; such a different and curious sensation that he couldn't feel using his fingers. 

For good measure, just in case his tongue was a useless floundering fish, he rubbed her swollen clit as well. Working his tongue in and out to mimick fucking, he felt her quiver and tighten around his muscle. 

“Holy shit I’m gonna cum, Ben,” Rey’s eyes were watering and she clutched the sides of his head. He didn’t even mind she called him Ben.

He used the full force of his head to fuck her thoroughly with his tongue until he felt the rush of her cum and tightening of her walls over his muscle; a foreign, delightful and dirty feeling. Rey pushed his head away to keep him from touching her anymore, her body was hyper alert.

“That was unreal,” Rey panted. 

“It was good?” Ben’s eyes were large with hope for validation.

Rey just hummed in response, her body splayed out across the bed.

“I need you,” she said, grabbing at him helplessly. “Please, make love to me.”

Rey had every intention of returning the favor, but that could come at another time. They would have the rest of the time in their world together. She needed to feel the closeness of him before anything else.

Ben nodded and undid his belt, stripping his pants and underwear in one go. Rey gazed at him through lusty eyes, raking over his strong thighs and cut cock jutting out for her. He climbed on the bed and settled over her, giving sweet pecks to her cheeks. Rey reached down to grasp him to make sure he was really that _big._ He was hot and firm in her hand. And yes, he really was that big. Stroking him lazily, she could detect the bead of precum already at his tip. She had barely touched him. His body went rigid as she began to stroke and she revealed in the way his shoulder and chest muscles twitched and contorted.

“I’ve barely touched you,” Rey whispered in Ben’s ear, “and you’re so fucking hard.”

“That’s how bad I want you,” Ben’s stomach flipped as she swiped her thumb over his cock head.

“You want to be inside me?” Rey drawled, bringing his cock to her lips and using it to swirl her wetness up and down her slit.

“Christ,” Ben choked out.

Still grasping his cock, Rey used it to rub circles on her clit.

“I need to grab a condom,” Ben reminded her halfheartedly.

“I’m on the pill if you don’t want to,” Rey said.

Ben beamed and took control of his cock from Rey and placed it at her entrance. He looked her in the glassy eyes as he began to push in, the stretch around his finger was incomparable to the way her pussy opened for his cock. Her body was so giving and accepting of him it gave him goosebumps.

He kissed every part he could reach as he eased his way into her fully. Ben remained still as Rey’s body adjusted to him. She stroked his hair and looked at him with a smile so full of love, all Ben wanted to do was say it, say those three words-- but he couldn’t. Not now. Not quite. He started to move in an effort to chase his cold thoughts away, losing himself to the tug and pull of Rey’s core.

They moved as one, both giving and taking just the right amount. Rey skirted around Ben and landed on top of him, wanting to get him in even deeper with her riding Ben. Rey bounced on her knees, taking in the vision of Ben’s sweaty forehead and rippling muscle. She began to feel herself tighten again just by the look of him.

“Yes, Rey, please, come for me I need to feel you,” Ben grunted, snapping his hips up to meet hers. 

Their pace was lost and became erratic. Rey collapsed onto Ben’s chest as she came. He followed seconds after with a grunt. Rey felt him fill her, a feeling she admittedly had never felt before. It was true when she told Ben she was on the pill, but she always wore condoms just in case. But this time, she just had to feel him, she _had to_ or she’d die. The warmth of his cum filling her was worth the unnecessary anxiety that would consume her after. 

Rey rolled over next to him and slumped against his shoulder. She felt his cum slowly creep out of her and she became fascinated by and obsessed with the sensation.

“Rey, I--- I don’t know what to say after that,” Ben laughed.

Rey raised herself up on her elbows and smirked triumphantly. “You’re welcome.”

Ben laughed again and Rey thought she could really love listening to that as she laid in bed with him each night and every morning. Ben thought maybe, just _maybe_ with Rey around, he could get used to laughing


	10. Don't Say Goodbye (I Won't Let You Go)

Rey woke up some time before the sun was fully up. The glow from the sheer white curtains was golden. She felt like a demigod waking up on Mount Olympus, sleeping beside a Greek god and tucked in all cozy upon white fluffy clothes. Egyptian cotton sheets were worth the fuss, Rey decided. Untangling herself from said sheets and said Greek god, Rey padded into the en suite bathroom and ran cool water over her face. She looked up into the spotless mirror. _Yes, this was real._

It was Rey’s nature to wait for the other foot to fall, though. Scenarios of what could ruin her singular happiness were: Finn and Rose trapping her into another dinner or outing. Leia kicking her out for sleeping with her son when she was supposed to be “saving” him. Getting fired from bartending because she wasn’t picking it up fast enough, maybe? 

She was so wrapped up in her worst case situations, Rey jumped and squealed when Ben came up behind her and kissed her bare shoulder.

Ben backed up, “Shit, I didn’t mean to scare you. Deep in thought?”

They weren’t so different after all, Ben and Rey. They were both terrified to let themselves relax and be happy. How could she teach him that if she can’t do it herself? 

_Lean into him, Rey. Not everything will hurt you._

“Thinking about you,” Rey decided to say with a strained smile.

“Good things I hope?” Ben asked incredulously. 

Rey wrapped her arms around his wide frame and inhaled his scent, woodsy but clean. So very Ben. 

“Only,” Rey said and kissed his bare chest. She looked up at him, craning her neck uncomfortably. 

“Breakfast?” Ben offered.

Rey nodded excitedly and accompanied him downstairs to the kitchen. They cooked side by side in harmony. Rey took care of the eggs and toast, Ben was in charge of the bacon and sausage. It was the sort of domestic bliss Rey had at one point with Finn, but it felt different this time. It wasn’t just a part of life, a daily routine to be like this-- every moment was special. Waking up and making breakfast beside Ben was something to look forward to and actively enjoy.

Once they were finished, Ben set the table and made mimosas for the pair. Ben reached his hand across the table to grasp Rey’s.  


“I’m gonna try,” Ben smiled broadly.

“Try?” Rey asked.

“I’m going to shut down The Dark Side. No more drugs, no more Snoke,” Ben continued. His smile didn’t fall for a moment. “I’ll lose this place, but I’m ready. When I’m with you I feel invincible. Is that corny?”

Rey laughed, hell yeah it was corny, but it was sweet. She abandoned her plate, to return to later of course, and sat on Ben’s lap to wrap herself around him.

“I’ll help you every step of the way,” Rey said softly, pushing a piece of black hair off his forehead.

“I won’t be able to lease an apartment here for you,” Ben reminded her.

“I don’t care. I want you to be safe. And you know there is always a place for you at Rebel Scum. I mean, you would have that whole apartment to yourself,” Rey slipped into the conversation with a sing-song voice.

Ben shook his head a little and raised his leg for Rey to get off. She sighed and settled back into her chair. One step at a time, she supposed. 

“I’m not ready for that,” Ben said. “Please don’t push.”

“I won’t,” Rey agreed and focused back on devouring her plate. 

The clean up was silent and Rey kicked herself for bringing up his parents when he was making progress and so excited to start anew. While he scraped the pancake pan, Rey silently went over to him and hugged him from behind, peppering little kisses on the skin of his neck that she could reach with her tiptoes. She could feel the little shiver that went through him as she did so, and the little goosebumps that accompanied it.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?” Ben tsked playfully; he was relaxing.

Rey pulled away with fake hurt, “I resent that! You’re the old man in this remember!”

Ben turned to face her and flicked soap off his hand at her face. “Old man, huh?” 

With a devilish smirk, he flicked more soap, causing Rey to break into a run. Ben followed her, minimizing his long strides to play into a good-natured game of cat and mouse. Rey was laughing too hard and collapsed onto the couch, holding her gut and laughing when Ben caught her and tickled her with sudsy hands.  


“I concede!” Rey choked out in between breathy laughs.

Ben stopped in favor of planting a sloppy kiss on Rey’s cheek. He was so overcome with something, a feeling in the pit of his stomach that gave him heartburn and a headache but it was something magnificent he wanted to crash full force into. Affection. Love. Instead he paused, looked Rey in the eye, and smiled. He hoped that said it all and that she felt it too.

Rey sat up abruptly and scrambled around at the couch cushions.

“Oh shit, where’s my phone? I gotta go! I’m so sorry,” Rey said sincerely.

“That’s okay, I’ve got to get ready to. I have a big talk with Snoke ahead of me,” Ben huffed.

“Be safe, and let me know how it goes. If you need anything, let me know,” Rey said.

“Of course,” Ben said.

In reality, Ben wouldn’t ask for Rey’s help if shit went down. He couldn’t drag her into dangerous situations and any conversation with Snoke, even one with good news, could go either way. He’d taken care of himself well enough so far without anyone, he would manage this as well.

Once Rey left a half an hour later, which would have been sooner without the thousands of kisses goodbye, Ben went to his bedroom and tried to pick out a most intimidating outfit. A leather jacket for sure, but the rest he couldn't parse out. In a perfect world, Snoke would back down, let The Dark Side die, and they’d part ways amicably. Ben knew that was out of the question. The best he could hope for was to get away with his head still attached to his neck. 

Finally, he settled on his black leather jacket, a black muscle shirt, black jeans and steel toed combat boots in case he needed to do some ass-kicking. It wasn’t much different from the regular wardrobe, but maybe that could be the point. He would no longer let Snoke mold him into what _he_ wanted. He wasn’t going to change to impress him.

When Ben first started onto the path of his grandfather, he didn’t understand all that went into Anakin’s enterprise. Ben used to be quite the romantic, and sometimes still was, so he pictured a bar open for the ruffians of the borough, a safe haven for the weirdos and the outcasts. He was vaguely aware of the drug operation, but according to most sources, it was only based on circumstantial rumors.

Then Snoke came, an old man who used to run with Anakin as a fellow poker player and associate. Snoke was a little drug pusher, and he was all too happy to retire that role and become show runner. He enthralled Ben with stories of power and money and a glamorous life, something Ben craved. At one point, he resented his parents for rejecting the riches and the lifestyle of his grandfather to make a more “honest” and “modest” living. By the time he figured out they had done the right thing, it was too late. He was in deep with Snoke and still pissed at his parents for being stubborn and selfish when it came to him.

Before he didn’t have the courage to stop, to back up, start over. Snoke was powerful, but he had to remember he was only one man. With Rey on his side, he thought he may have a fighting chance.

\-------------

Rey just hopped out of the shower when she reached for her and saw a text from Finn. Could he have any worse timing? She was running late for work and worried about Ben’s meeting with Snoke. Although, she couldn’t wait to tell Leia about his change of heart.

_F: A little birdie told me you have a new bf._

He had balls! First of all, who would have told him that? Secondly, her and Ben really hadn’t had that specific conversation. It seemed juvenile to call Ben her “bf” regardless, this connection with him was a partnership, they were equals. Not some fling that started at a middle school dance. 

_R: I am very confused._

_F: No need to be coy. Poe heard it from Leia who let it slip to me. I was happy for you._

Damn, Poe and Leia. The two of them were worse than a couple of gossiping, cackling hens. They acted more like mother-son. She should’ve known that Leia’s new hope in reconnecting with her wayward son would spark a “dish sesh” with her surrogate son. Rey also couldn’t help notice the operative word of _was_ in Finn’s text.

_R: Was?_

Rey had to get to work, she didn't have time to entertain this interrogation from her ex boyfriend. She combed her hair while she waited for his response.

_F: Poe didn’t know much but that Leia’s son got mixed up in some bad shit and left the family. Now, you’ve somehow ‘gotten with him’ and are going to bring him home? I don’t like the sound of that Rey. It sounds like Leia is using you, or even worse, this Ben Solo guy is dangerous. If she’s making you be with him to live there, you can always come back here. I know it’s not ideal, but Rose and I still care about you. We want you safe._

After reading the long message, Rey scoffed at its contents. Who was he to be making these claims, judging a situation he wasn’t even a part of?

_R: You have no idea what you’re talking about. I think it’s time you lose my number and mind your own business._

Rey refused to look at her phone again for a reply and finished getting ready, huffing and puffing as she went downstairs to work.

\---------------

Snoke was in his usual back corner table when Ben walked in. He steeled himself and straightened his jacket before walking confidently, but not cockily, over to Snoke. Normally he would ask to sit and Snoke would calmly gesture for him to. Ben would do so cautiously and stammer through his question. Instead, Ben sat down without permission, clearly catching Snoke off guard by the widening of his eyes. He quickly recovered however, leaving Ben feeling less in control. 

“It’s over, Snoke,” Ben said before he lost any nerve.

Soke didn’t flinch. “No good afternoon, Benjamin?” 

“Don’t call me that,” he seethed. The tables were quickly turning as they usually did between the two. Ben thought he was in control, but he never was. Snoke knew where to hit the hardest and which games to play. 

“Oh, but family is so important, boy. You’ll always have that Solo blood in you; the Skywalker blood as well. You’re a legacy. It’ll never be over for you,” Snoke said like it was just a casual fact in a casual conversation.

Ben’s resolve wavered. Snoke was not bothered, he wasn’t taking him seriously at all. Snoke just went back to reading his paper. Who even reads the paper anymore? Ben palmed the paper where Snoke was reading and took it from him. 

“Listen, I’m shutting this place down. It’s not going to be your drug den anymore. If you'd like to buy it from me, please do, but I’m finished,” Ben said firmly.

Snoke cocked his head and quirked his forehead where his eyebrows would have been if he had any. Ben never asked where they went because honestly, he didn’t want to know.

“Tough talk, boy. I don’t accept the offer. Haven’t you got glasses to clean?” Snoke said, snatching back his paper with a satisfying whip.

“It’s not an offer,” Ben pressed, “and I’m not asking for permission. I’m locking the doors as of tomorrow. I’ll let you finish up with your connections and all your crap here, and then you’re gone.”  
“You’ll _let_ me? That’s a joke. Things will continue as normal,” Snoke told Ben like he was a pestilent child.

“You don’t own this place, I do. Hell, I’ll give it to you if that’s what it takes,” Ben offered without thinking it through. He was coming off desperate and that was just how Snoke liked him.

The ashen man folded his hand in front of him on the table and sighed. “I am vexed that I must explain this to you, but if that is what it takes to understand, here it is. A smart man doesn’t do his own dirty work. He’s covert, he’s behind the scenes. If this operation goes under, you’re holding the deed. You’re holding the cards and it is going to stay that way. You should be honored.”

Ben fumed. “Honored to be your meat shield?”

“I just assumed you knew. As long as you’re with me and all goes well, you can keep living in your fancy apartment with your nice things. There is no reason to give that up,” Snoke was trying for a gentler approach with a fake soothing and fatherly tone, but Ben wasn’t interested.

“I can have all of that until things go south though, right? You expect me to accept that?” Ben asked.

“You have no choice,” Snoke said. “Not anymore.”

Ben was silent for a moment, collecting his thoughts. Snoke had a great way of rendering him immobile and Ben could no longer formulate an exit strategy.

“Is that what happened to my grandfather?” Ben finally asked.

A hearty laugh came from Snoke and it made Ben feel ill. His life, his family’s lives, they were just one big ha-ha to a heartless fuck like Snoke.

“That was a whole other can of worms. I thank him for learning my lesson of taking a more...shadowy approach. His head got so big, I don’t doubt his next step was to rule the galaxy or something equally crazy. So full of romantic ideals. In the end, he pissed off the wrong people,” Snoke explained it all as if it were an impact-less fairy tale and not the demise of his grandfather. He almost looked dreamy-eyed.

Ben clenched his teeth at the thought of the people who burned his grandfather alive. “Who was it?”

“Nevermind that now, it is no longer relevant. You know, I am just _dying_ for a whiskey sour. Mind helping an old man out?” Snoke looked up at Ben the way a sweet old man would look at a grandchild, except there was no kindness in Snoke’s eyes, just a triumphant, pompous smirk on his face.

Ben couldn’t take that smug face off him fast enough. He stood up, furthering emboldening Snoke’s smile, to deck Snoke in the face with a mean right hook. Snoke crumpled to the floor and held his nose, blood seeping through his cupped fingers. The older man looked up at Ben with shock and fury, not hurt. His mouth was curved in utter disgust.

“I changed my mind. I’m closing now. Get your shit,” Ben ordered with squared shoulders. Snoke didn’t seem so scary as laid below him.

“You’re going to regret this!” Snoke hissed as Ben turned and walked away, making a show of swinging his keys as he moved to lock the door.

Ben practically skipped out the back into the alley. He wanted to do a high kick and touch his toes, he felt so weightless and free. He pulled out his phone and texted Rey immediately. There was no one else in the world he would rather be with then.

_B: I did it. I want to see you._

_R: I’m working…. :( Maybe you could come by?_

_B: Haha, no thanks. Come by my apartment as soon as you can afterwards? I want to celebrate._

_R:Of course! I’m so happy for you. Can’t wait <3 _

Ben smiled at his phone and locked it. He drove back to his apartment. He would likely have to pack soon, he couldn’t pay for this place long without Snoke’s money coming in. That was to worry about at another time. It was time to celebrate.

\----------

It was the first shift at Rebel Scum where Rey wasn’t plagued by her morbid thoughts. Once she got the text from Ben that they were in the all clear, Rey was giddy to see him again. With this out of the way, they could finally be a semi-normal couple. Next was rekindling Ben with his parents. Despite her unbridled joy, she couldn’t help think it was all too easy. She brushed that aside though, she was always so cynical and weary, the both were; they deserved to be excited just this once.

“You look happy, my dear,” Leia said to Rey, breaking her from her thoughts. 

Rey blushed and looked down at her hands that were gripping the edge of the bar.

“Ben is leaving The Dark Side. He’s closing it. Leaving it behind him,” Rey told her with a smile. 

Leia did a tiny jump and clapped her hands jubilantly. Rey beamed at her being so adorable.

“Oh, this is so wonderful! I am so happy I could cry,” Leia choked out, taking Rey’s hands in her own. A few silent tears skidded down her cheeks. “Does this mean he will be coming home?”

Rey sighed, “I don’t think he’s there yet, Leia. I’m so sorry.”

The older woman’s smile faded, but she shook her head at it. “Nevertheless, he is on the right path. I must tell Han at once! Maybe I can find where Luke is and write a letter? Rey, you’re an incredible woman. I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done.”

“No need to thank me. I care for Ben. Also, you took me in when I had nowhere else to go, and you didn’t even know me. You’re a good person too,” Rey said.

“Well, it took me a while to get there. I’m still working on it, if my son’s feelings towards me are any indication,” Leia sniffed. She took her hands from Rey’s and clasped them in front of her. “Either way, I have big news to share.” Leia turned and disappeared into the growing crowd of the bar goers. 

By 9pm, Rey couldn’t wait any longer. It was a Monday night and the bar’s patrons were already dissipating, so she asked Amilyn if she could cut out a bit earlier. She noticed she was making a habit of it and felt she was taking advantage of her unique relationship with the owner and her son. But Amilyn gave a warm smile and agreed while Rey vowed it would be the last time.

On her way out, Rey shot Ben a text.

_R: Got out early, coming over. Can’t wait to celebrate ;)_

Ben didn’t answer right away, which was all the better to Rey. She was excited to surprise him.


	11. Up in Smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is it Friday already??? I hope you enjoy <3

Rey was two blocks away when she first saw the billowing grey smoke coming from the direction of Ben’s building. At first, she told herself maybe it was the warehouse further down the street, or the parking garage across from his apartment, but she knew. It was him. She broke into a run, skidding in front of the building to fling upon the door and rush to the front desk. The old man that usually sat there was gone, and random people in pajamas and business clothes were stomping their way past each other, down the stairs and out the door.

“Did anyone call the fire department?” A frightened elderly woman shouted.

A few people chipped up that they had, but where the hell were they? Throughout the crowd, Rey couldn’t spot Ben. Surely if he was out, she would be able to see him towering over the other residents. She spotted the doorman starting to hold the door open for the flood of people scurrying out.

“Has Ben come through here?” Rey asked him.

“Who?” He asked distractedly as he watched people move past.

“Kylo Ren,” Rey amended with a sigh.

“No ma'am. Maybe he’s not home,” the old man shrugged.

“He is home. When the firefighters arrive, let them know there is still someone in the building,” Rey demanded. Her patience was thinning. Why wasn’t he taking this seriously? He just stood there like an idiot holding open the fucking door that a street brick could do just as well.

“If I don’t see him come through, I certainly will. Now, you should get out of here, the smoke is filling the lobby already,” he told her. He ducked out of the door once the last person in the lobby filed out.

Rey stood outside near the squawking residents, idly watching flames and smoke pour out of the windows on the eighth floor. _Eighth floor._ Ben’s floor. She was no idiot-- it was all too coincidental. The day Ben pulls out with Snoke, his building is on fire? Fuck that. Rey was going in. 

The old doorman put up a pitiful protest when Rey rushed through the doors. She tucked her nose and mouth into her sweatshirt and headed for the stairs, bounding up them two at a time, stretching her legs to the limits. Her thighs quaked by the time she made it to the seventh floor where the smoke was the thickest yet. Her eyes burned and watered; tears trickling down, soaking the rim of her sweatshirt. 

By the time she got to the eighth floor by stairwell, she was coughing so hard she thought she’d vomit from the sheer force. There was no visibility. She checked the door handle with her sleeve over her hand. Not burning hot, the fire hadn’t gotten to the door yet, she could still go in.With a fresh, final gulp of what little breathable air was left, Rey opened the door and started to crawl. The smoke was thinnest at the floor, and she could navigate by army crawl to which door was Ben’s. 

Once she got there, she swore into her sweatshirt; how was she supposed to get in? The door was locked. What use was this grand plan? Now Ben was gonna fucking die, and she was too. They wouldn’t even be together. Dying together, burning alive, separated by a fucking door. Rey began to uselessly pound on it. She uncovered her mouth to wail, because what was the point anymore? 

Strangely, the door creaked open. Rey paused for a moment. Someone answered her prayer, she shouldn’t think too hard about it. She crawled inside and saw Ben laying on the floor face down in the entryway. She could spot the subtle rise and fall of his back. He was breathing. Rey lurched forward on her knees to reach him, her knees banging loudly against the marble floor. Her hands clutched him as she got there, just holding him, feeling that he was still warm, still breathing, still alive. Still Ben.

Out of the corner of her blurred eye, Rey saw a pair of shiny black shoes barely a foot away. She looked up with a squint, thinking another person in the room had to be a mirage. The shoes were worn by a tall ashen skinned man with a long black cloak and gas mask. 

“Ah, so you _are_ the influencer,” the person grumbled through the gas mask, giving a haunting echo that rattled through her brain.

Rey wanted to ask what they meant, but her throat was too dry and raw to speak.

“I hope this will let you and Benjamin grasp the importance of the arrangement,” the person said. 

They paused and waved their hand to usher in a bunch of men in all black, including their gas masks. In her haze, Rey noted one man was much shorter and scrawnier than the others.

“Take them out the back. The ventilators are in the van to get them to the hospital. Just drop them out front, make sure no one sees you,” the leader instructed the others.

Rey felt herself be lugged over the shoulder of one person, and saw three have to heave Ben. Seeing such a strong man, a man that she may very well love, so limp in their arms was more painful than the fire in her throat or the tingle in her eyes. The masked people put gas masks haphazardly on both their faces before charging out of the door and down the stairwell. Rey made it two flights down before passing out.

\-------

It was around 1am when Rey woke up. She was in a hospital, as she figured she would be. She oxygen tubes in her nose, making it incredibly itchy. She hoped Ben would be in the bed beside her, but instead it was a sleeping woman on oxygen as well. A meek and exhausted nurse came in quietly and checked the equipment Rey was hooked up to.

“Oh, you’re awake,” the woman said. “Do you know who brought you in? You and this other gentleman were brought in together. Someone practically threw you both out of a van and left.”

Rey wasn’t positive the nurse should be talking to her like this, but it was good to know how she got there, and that Ben was here somewhere here too. She honestly didn’t know for sure who it was that pulled her and Ben out, but she had a pretty educated guess. Either way, spilling her guts wasn’t going to keep Rey and Ben from something like this happening again. Sometimes, the truth was better twisted to fit what you needed.

“I don’t. There was a fire in our building,” Rey said. Her voice was raspy. It was painful to talk too much. “Where is my husband?”

“Oh! We didn’t realize you were married. We kept you in separate rooms to be safe. We can move you to his room shortly, I’ll just need some assistance. He is alright, just resting. We looked at the IDs you had on you didn’t have the same last name, we just figured… well, I guess this is the 21st century!” The nurse was rambling and tried to smile, but sighed and slumped her shoulders instead. “Sorry, I’m tired. I’ll be right back.”

The two nurses came back a few minutes later and loaded Rey up in a wheelchair, even though she insisted she could walk. They wheeled her to a room only three over. Once they got her in, they started to ready the machines to put her back to bed.

She looked over at Ben, eerily still in his bed, hooked up to a more intense oxygen machine than she was. He was in the thick of it much longer than she was for sure; he was already passed out by the time she got there.

Rey wheeled over to his bed and held his hand. Still warm. She just needed to make sure. She’d lost so much before she even met him, she couldn’t lose him too. She felt the nurses watching her as she laid her head on his bed.

The second nurse cleared his throat. “Would you like us to push the beds together? We sometimes do that for partners.”

Rey looked up, her cheeks smeary with silent tears.

“Yes, please,” she responded and wheeled out of the way for them to work.

It was embarrassing to have to be lifted into bed from the chair _she told them a million times she could do it herself,_ but they said her lungs were weak and they didn’t need her to exert any major energy.

She settled into the crook of Ben’s neck and inhaled-- he smelled like smoke and sterile cleaning products.

“Please let one of us know if you need anything. You should get more rest,” the first nurse said. “Goodnight.”

Rey slept much better with Ben by her side.  
\-----  
Ben was the first to wake up the next morning, and it took him a lot longer to get used to his surroundings. He shook Rey awake and she jumped with a start. He shucked off his mask.

“You’re okay? We’re okay?” Ben squeezed her arms a little too hard. “What happened?”

Before Rey could properly answer, Ben crushed their lips together for a kiss, winching as he pulled away.

“Ow, my lips feel sunburned,” he said, smoothing them with his fingers. “How did you get involved in this, Rey?”

“I went in after you,” Rey said quietly. It sounded even stupider explaining it to him.

Ben heaved a sigh and put his head in his hands, frustrated. “Fuck, Rey. No.”

“I didn’t know what was happening!” Rey exclaimed. “But, maybe I did have a pretty good idea….”

“And now he knows you still care about me, and I care about you, and he’ll use that against us,” Ben tried to explain calmly, but the veins in his neck were protruding.

“He tried to kill you. I don’t think he cares who _we_ care about.”

Another sigh came from Ben and Rey decided she wasn’t a fan of it. He was acting like she was a naive child and explaining the ways of a drug operating underbelly was such a burden.

“He wasn’t trying to kill me. He was trying to teach me a lesson. You didn’t pull us out, right? It was a bunch of tough guys, and I’m sure one was very tall and mysterious,” Ben said.

So, her hunch was right. Snoke and his little worker bees pulled them out.

“I’m too valuable to kill, he needs me. But you---” Ben paused. “You need to go into hiding.”

“Hiding? What? No way. If he was going to kill me, wouldn’t he have let me die in the fire?” 

Rey’s heart was pounding. She came from a shady background, growing up and having to fend for yourself wasn’t always pretty, but having a hit out on you and having your boyfriend’s place set on fire was a whole other kind of shady.

“ I need you to be safe while I figure this out,” Ben ran a hand through his hair and started to cough. He put his oxygen mask back on and breathed in deeply before taking it off again. “Rey, please. I love you.”

Rey’s anger dissipated when she heard that. When Ben first told her that in her fantasies, it was a lot more romantic. Maybe a night out at a fancy restaurant, or naked in bed together after a satisfying and magical romp. But even this way, it felt right, perfect, _real_.

“I love you too,” Rey smiled and pecked his lips softly.

Ben put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “Let me keep you safe.”

“We’ll see,” Rey smirked.

“Rey!” Ben scolded.

“Okay, okay. Maybe….” Rey snickered.

“Rey!”

The nurse came in then and checked on their vitals.

“Please put your mask back on, Mr. Ren,” the nurse ordered.

Ben rolled his eyes and did as she said. 

“You two have visitors. Would you like them to come in?” She asked.

“Who?” Ben asked, pulling up the mask again. His voice becoming stern and curt. He thought it to be Snoke. 

“Your parents, Mr. Ren,” the nurse said cheerily like she didn’t just drop a bomb on his already horrible day.

“We’d love to see them,” Rey cut in before he could open his mouth to respond.

“Lovely! They’re right outside,” the nurse went to go let them in.

Ben murmured to Rey, “What the fuck? Did you ask them here? Why did you say yes?”

“No, I didn’t ask them to come. When would I have had time to do that? Besides,they’re probably terrified for you. I wish I had parents to worry about me,” Rey whispered back. It was a below belt tactic, but it shut him up. Ben thought maybe she had a little tiny bit of a point.

Han and Leia entered the room cautiously, both with their heads bowed. They looked like two street kids about to ask if “please sir, may I have some more?” 

The nurse nodded awkwardly as she too felt the shift in the room. She excused herself and ducked out.

“When we heard on the news about the fire where you lived, we were so worried, son,” Han spoke first, but stayed close by the door.

“And I knew you were headed over Rey, so we were worried about you too. I am so happy that you are alright,” Leia said carefully.

Rey looked over at Ben to see if he was going to answer, but he just sat there with a scowl.

“Thank you for your concern,” Rey said, “and for checking on us.”

Leia moved towards the bed and Rey could feel Ben tense up beside her.

“I would never forgive myself if I never got to see you again before--before---,” Leia stopped and crouched on her knees sobbing. Ben’s eyes widened as she did so. It was becoming harder and harder to remain stoic when his own aging mother was crumbling on the ground weeping.

Han moved to her quickly, wrapping her up in his arms and smoothing her hair.

“Oh, princess,” he cooed.

Ben sat up and launched himself out of bed, wobbly at first, but steadying himself on the frame.

“Did you really think coming in here with this act was going to make up for everything?” Ben shouted hoarsely. 

Han stood up to meet his stance, but still couldn’t reach Ben’s height.

“You think this is an act? Show your mother some respect!” Han shouted back.

“Isn’t that always it with you two? Honor, respect, doing the right thing. Life isn’t white and black, light and dark, good and evil. If you two could have seen that maybe you wouldn't be so self righteous!” Ben exploded which urged him into a coughing fit.

“That may be true, but there are lines you don’t cross and your mother and I taught you better than this,” Han countered.

The taller Solo man scoffed. “This was a mistake, you coming here.”

Leia rose to her feet, who had sniffled and recovered during their argument, and stood in the middle of her two men. She put a calming hand on Han’s chest and he backed up.

“I think he is right, dear. This isn’t the best time,” Leia said. It was remarkable how she could pull herself together and become poised again so quickly.

Leia turned to her son and said, “You are always welcome home. If you need anything, we will help you. I love you. We both do. Always.”

Ben huffed childishly. “Bye,” was all he said.

Leia nodded and guided Han out of the hospital room. Ben plopped back into bed with a stubborn cough. He put his mask back on and crossed his arms to pout.

“Happy?” Ben grumbled from underneath his mask.

Rey sighed. What could she do when not even a near death experience could cause him to forgive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the crazy scariness in the world right now, next week I will interrupt our usual programming to insert a chapter of lovely smut to cheer us up! Look forward to that next week and stay safe and healthy ya'll :)


	12. This Very Moment

The nurses informed Ben and Rey they should expect to be out next morning. The staff had been patient and kind despite their crazy busyness. Both were feeling much better and Rey was anxious to get back to work. Ben, not so much. He hadn’t heard anything from Snoke, not so much as a call or text as a warning. He had Rey repeat over and over what she had heard them say and he obsessively tried to read between the lines.

“I think it was pretty obvious what he meant,” Rey tried to reason. “He said, ‘I hope this will let you and Benjamin grasp the importance of the arrangement.’ That’s clear to me.”

“Okay, but I’m thinking here-- grasp. What could that stand for? Maybe it’s a hint. Like next time, he will send someone to ‘grasp’ our necks, as in choking. Or it can be an acronym. Like Get-- Ready--Asshole--something…” Ben trailed off. He looked up at the ceiling and bit his lip in thought.

“Penis,” Rey blurted.

“What?” Ben asked in a haze.

“The next letter is P. I’m guessing it’s penis,” Rey smirked and tried not to laugh. 

They were safe here, and yes they would have to leave eventually, but he was driving himself crazy with scenarios. Rey wanted to enjoy the brief reprieve they had from his family, Snoke and all the other drama Rey hated that she became a part of. Even if that brief reprieve was being stuck in a hospital room.

Ben sighed, “Christ, Rey. This is life or death.”

“I understand that. But right now, we are safe. I may be having to go away, if you really insist on that, so I want to shut all that off right now and be with you while I can,” Rey said, holding Ben’s hands in hers. 

His rigid features softened and gave Rey a sad smile.

“Maybe you’re right,” Ben admitted finally. “I can just relax for the moment.”

Rey smiled triumphantly and leaned in for a light peck, which Ben surprised Rey by deepening it. He grabbed the sides of her face and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, so loving and tender Rey could cry.

“I can’t lose you,” Ben said once he pulled away. 

She could see the insurmountable pain contorting his strong jaw.

“You won’t,” Rey whispered.

Ben got out of bed and went to the door. He searched the knob for the lock, but there was none. He took the visitor’s chair from the corner and propped it up against the door. He looked back at Rey on the hospital bed for permission. She met his gaze with a playful smirk.

“Wanting to play doctor?” Rey laughed.

“I just want a little privacy. Who knows when we will get this moment again. I’m not gonna die only making love to you once,” Ben told her.

“You’re not going to die,” Rey said seriously.

Ben stalked his way back to their makeshift bed and crawled on top of Rey. She leaned back in response and grasped onto his hospital shirt. The fabric between her fingers reminded her what this really was, but she had to block it out to be with him completely. _He thought he was saying goodbye._ Rey wasn’t going to let that come true.

To drown out her thoughts, she wrapped her legs around Ben’s torso and pulled him closer. She already felt the hardness of him poking into her. She smirked into their kiss. It would be a lie to say she didn’t love how she could turn him on so quickly. With Finn, it was very much ‘we care for each other, this is what couples do, let’s have sex.’ Sex wasn’t even the right term for it, it was _intercourse._ It was clinical. The irony wasn’t lost on her that Ben and her were about to make love in their hospital room, but there was nothing clinical about it.

Ben snaked his hand under her gown and felt the lack of underwear. He looked up from their kiss and quirked his eyebrow in question.

“I wasn’t about to wear those gross nurse issued panties,” Rey said.

Ben chuckled before diving in for another kiss. His hand trailed further up to feel no bra either, but he made no comment about it. He rolled the peaked nipped in between his fingers, causing Rey to cry out in pleasure.

“Shh,” Ben reminded her as he began to toy with her other nipple.

“Then don’t make me feel so good if you want me to be quiet,” Rey snarked back in good nature.

He just laughed at her and kissed down her neck, but it was Rey’s turn to touch; she reached behind him and tried to get under the waistband of his scrub-like pants. She took his cheeks in her hands and kneaded. Ben groaned into her neck and accidentally bit a little at her, but Rey didn’t care. 

Ben got off Rey slightly to strip off his shirt and scrunch up Rey’s gown to her neck. He suckled at her nipples just for a moment before kissing down her stomach, making his intent very clear.

Rey grabbed Ben’s head to stop him and he looked up at her with worried brows.

“Not this time. I haven’t done the same for you yet. It’s give and take,” Rey said in a sing song voice.

“Rey--”

She stopped him by struggling to flip them over. He laughed at her failed effort but did what she wanted. He was just too damn hefty for her. 

Her small hands followed every ridge and dip in his chest. Rey was never going to get used to how sculpted he was and how bashful he was about it. Taking a page from Ben’s book, she trapiled a bunch of sloppy open mouthed kissed down his torso until she reached the stretch of his sweatpants. She inched them down with ease and was greeted by his massive cock springing forth. The head was already swollen purple.

Rey couldn’t believe she didn’t taste him before--it looked like a perfect fit for every part of her. She encircled him with both hands, exploring the velvet skin without any purposeful intention, but he moaned like she already mastered her work. 

Bending forward on her knees, Rey took him in her mouth. She made it halfway before gagging. She would have to work up to it, she thought. She bobbed up and down to really wet him as to make it easier for her hands to stroke when they joined her mouth. Once he was slicked completely, she could take him almost all the way. His nest of hairs tickled her nose, so she smiled to keep herself from giggling. 

She looked up to catch his eyes, they were brown and glossy. He brought his hands to her head and stroked lovingly, pulling up slightly only once in a while when he felt she was going too deep and he might cum. He didn’t want to come like this.

“Rey,” he breathed out, but it was all that needed to be said.

Her lungs were burning, she may have exerted her windpipes a little too much there, but she couldn’t stop now. She settled on top of him and sank down. The delicious stretch was still unfamiliar to Rey, but it was comforting at the same time. 

Ben’s hands instinctively went to her waist; he helped her lift her body up and down. She felt weightless with his assistance and it all worked to bring her to the end. Rey reached down to rub her clit to help along, and it wasn’t long before she came on his cock. The sheer force of her clenching sex sent Ben there too, and he grabbed her face to bring her in for a crushing kiss. He used her mouth to groan into selfishly

As Rey settled down and leaned into him, she felt the aftershocks of his cock twitching. She moved to get off to give him some relief from the intensity, but he caught her.

“Can we just stay like this? Just for a minute?” Ben pleaded.

His eyes were glossy again, but not from arousal.

“Yes,” Rey said quietly.

She reached up to cradle his head in her hand. Rey moved to wrap her arms around him so tightly, wondering if they could meld together and slither away and escape all of this. He sighed into her hair and she couldn't decipher what it meant.

They both jumped at hearing the door knob jiggling against the chair, followed by a furious knocking.

“Mr and Mrs. Ren? Hello?” the nurse called in worry. “Everyone alright in there?”

Rey and Ben stared at each other and busted out laughing. This very moment was happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was a little on the shorter side, but it is just a quickie ;). I usually update earlier in the day, but with everything that has been happening, I haven't been in the most productive state of mind. I was laid off at work and my routine is all out of whack. Thank you all for reading and stay well! <3


	13. Superego

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been a while! I took a bit of a mental health break during quarantine, but I"m back to work and slowly come out of the hole I was in. Still on the shorter side, but I wanted to get something out for everyone to feast on! Stay well:)

Rey never thought she would be forlorn to leave a hospital. She and Ben spent time together there uninterrupted and without fear; something they hadn’t had much of since they met. They occasionally fought about what their next move should be, but when things got too heated they laid the topic to rest to enjoy their time together. However, it left them unprepared to face what came after.

The nurses picked up on their dread. Some of them felt agitated, thinking the two were only said because they had sad to stop freeloading off their insurance company (like that could happen) for catered food (which was gross) and laziness (which wasn’t really a choice), while the first nurse that met Rey pulled her aside as they finished filling out paperwork for discharge.

“Do you have a safe place to go to?” She whispered. 

Rey paused, then quickly tried to regain her composure to lie with conviction. “Yes, of course.”

The nurse didn’t seem convinced, but didn’t press either. Ben arranged for a car to pick them up and take him to the apartment to assess damages. As they pulled up, they saw construction workers already replacing the siding on the building, but the remaining uncovered char reminded them of what they had been through. Ben’s hand reached for Rey and clutched tightly.

“Uh, you guys gonna get out?” The uber driver asked, drumming his hands patiently on the leather steering wheel.

“Oh, um, yeah. Thanks,” Ben nodded awkwardly and let go of Rey’s hand only long enough to get out and circle around the car to meet again.

Rey felt Ben’s body jolt as the car switched into drive and pulled away. Rey struggled seeing him so terrified and not knowing how to soothe him.

“What do you think the state of the apartment will be?” Ben asked as they started to walk.

“As long as your home bar isn’t damaged it’s livable,” Rey tried to joke.

“Ha-ha,” Ben said sarcastically, attempting to hide his fear.

Ben hated feeling this way. Fear, powerlessness, guilt we are all things he vowed to never let over take him when he left home. In a haze of wanting to run from his family, he couldn’t recognize he put himself in another situation where those feelings reared again.

The doorman murmured obligatory words of “glad you’re okay” and the like when they passed by. The elevator was working, but Ben elected to take the stairs, just in case. He wouldn’t admit it to Rey, to show cowardice in front of her; but there were many ways Snoke could sabotage the elevator and Ben’s fervent mind was ruminating over all of them. Cut off electricity and let them starve suspended in the air, cut the ropes and let them fall to their death... he had more control on the stairs.

Once they huffed up to Ben’s floor, lungs still a little weak, his front door looked brand new.

“Landlord made quick work of things,” Ben murmured. “He was probably happy for the insurance money. He sent me a text that the company ruled it accidental. Candle catching on the curtain.”

“Snoke thought of everything to cover his tracks,” Rey commented.

Ben froze momentarily, then sighed.. “I know.”

Turning the key in the lock, Ben pushed open the door. He dropped his set of keys on the tile.

“It’s…” Ben whispered to himself

“Normal,” Rey finished. “How? Not even the outside is finished yet.”

Sitting in the middle of the foyer was a wreath on a wooden easel, weaved with black and white roses and a large, gleaming white card attached.

Ben was rigid and unmoving. Rey stepped forward and plucked the card from the wreath. Ben lurched towards Rey and snatched the card from her. He flung it behind him and rushed them to the sink in the kitchen.

“He could have put anthrax or something on it,” Ben panicked and coated their hands in lime green dish detergent and scrubbed.

Rey let him do it for a few moments to satiate him before pulling away.

“We can’t live like this. _You_ can’t live like this,” Rey said delicately. She placed her soapy hand on his cheek and he leaned in as a thanks. _Thank you for caring about me._

It was amazing how such a large, handsome man could seem like a child and so broken beneath her touch.

“I’m scared,” Ben said so softly it was barely audible. 

“Me too. But we will get through this. I’ve lost enough in my life. I’m not losing you too,” Rey said firmly. 

She grabbed the obnoxiously yellow dish gloves on the side of the sink and stretched them over her hands. Before Ben could protest, she hustled to the foyer and picked the card up from the floor.

_I can make all your dreams come true. I can fix any of your problems. But remember, if you cross me, I’ll create a waking nightmare. Enjoy your repaired place. And your new sweetheart. I hope we understand each other now, Benjamin._

_-S_

The heaviness of Ben’s feet made Rey look up.

“What...does it say?” Ben asked cautiously.

“Not anything we don’t already know,” Rey sighed and placed it back on the wreath. “You can’t stay here, Kylo. Stay with me. All the Rebel Scum people can protect us.”

Ben shook his head furiously, shaking out his long hair. “I can’t run to Mommy and Daddy because I fucked up, Rey. I can’t go back there. Especially now.”

“If you stay here, living under the roof he built and dining with the money he paid you, you’ll always be under his thumb,” Rey started to raise her voice in desperation to get her point across, but it immediately put Ben on guard.

“It’s not that simple. I can’t just waltz in there and shack up and put everyone in danger because of my mistakes!” Ben matched her volume.

“Put your pride away for a minute, okay. This is life or death,” Rey countered firmly.

Ben clutched at his hair and was one whine away from stomping his foot like a petulant child.

“For fuck’s sake, Rey! You don’t get this! You can’t dictate what I do! This is above your head!” Ben shouted.

It was all too much then, too much like the angry dads in her foster homes and the bullies at group homes.

“Fine. If you know what to do, go do it. I am so sick of you convincing yourself you don’t need anyone. You need people, people need you,” Rey paused and softened her angry features. “I need you.”

Ben just flared his nostrils and flattened his mouth into a thin, defiant line. He looked anywhere but Rey.

“Really? Now?” Rey just threw her hands up, tired and mad and scared.

He didn’t answer.

“Please. Come with me,” Rey tried finally. 

He just stood there. 

“I can’t stay, Kylo. You know this. You can’t either,” Rey told him.

“Then you go,” Ben mumbled.

Rey felt a warm pang of hurt pinch her chest. “You want me to go?”

“I would understand if you did,” Ben twisted the knife. “I think you should.”

Tears were burning in her eyes, it was blurry, her feet were itching to run.

“Just say it,” Rey cried softly.

“Leave, Rey. Just go,” Ben was tired too then, of fighting, of hiding, of everything.

Rey had nothing left to say, she didn’t know what she could. How did their few days of hospitalized bliss turn into this?

“I’m protecting you,” Ben added, attempting sweetness, but it came off as a man who thought he knew a lot better than some little girl.

“No, you’re protecting your ego,” Rey shot back. 

Ben was running out of excuses. Before he could try to make one more, Rey stomped out the door and slid down against it. Despite how much she wanted to, and knowing she would have before (she ran away to Europe for a damn year to run from her fading relationship), Rey couldn’t leave. She especially couldn’t leave him like this. He was the only person she had ever felt this strongly for. An unconditional love that she never had as a kid, probably something he never felt he had too. How could they so easily close the door on each other? After everything? This wasn’t Finn, this was Kylo. This was _Ben._ This was something worth fighting for, worth crying and aching over. 

She stood up and settled on the plush black couch that sat in the hallway of the apartment level. Rey wouldn’t leave until he came home to Apartment A.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave feedback and comments :) I'm excited to share this with all of you! I plan to update every Friday.


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